OK - I'm here now - and here's how I got here

Friday 13th March 2009
So .... as I write this it was two weeks ago today that I'd seen the school assembly and I had just got in the car with Mum on the first leg of my journey to HERE where I am now.

Let's start with that initial journey in the car .... actually let's skip forward to being at Heathrow terminal 3. Well, what the hell is there to write about the Bounds Green to Heathrow T3 journey? Nothing much – lots of sitting there with crowds in cent. London which died down as we moved outwards. All I had to worry about was – Was my case with wheels going to wheel about when the train stopped suddenly? Well it didn't. Anyway, arrived at T3 in very good time, up the escalator, man with luggage trolleys which I got one of, and in I went.

Smaller than I thought was T3 and really quite pleasant outside. Not like the bodies of Heathrow I'd imagined (thankfully!). First thing I needed was suitcase padlocks. Don't normally use them but figured I should for where I was going. Easily enough there was an 'Excess Baggage' stand which had suitcase wrap-ups and associated stuff ... AND padlocks. They looked to be too fat but tried one and was OK so got a pack of two for 4pounds. Seemed a reasonable price. Job done!

So .... to find Saudi Arabian airlines check-in was my next target. Well it wasn't even 11 o'clock so I was ridiculously early. Found it anyway and NO QUEUES! Looked for where I was supposed to go as many check-in desks were marked. A security guard (or something) asked me what I wanted (strange?!) and I said I was looking for the Riyadh/Dammam check-in. He checked my passport (also a strange thing to do in THIS part of the airport but maybe extra security for THIS destination and all associated places close by) and then directed me to Check-In Desk 31. Again no queue. One WOMAN there to do it (NOT a man and NOT in one of those Gulf Air-style head-dresses!). Usual procedure here. Told her I knew I was going to be too heavy in luggage, put the cases on and came around to learn how much excess I'd be paying.

Well, the answer to THAT was ZERO! Was it my nice-looking jacket, the fact I was the first in the queue (which was zero size anyway!) or was it that, unknown to me, my ticket was actually NOT economy class as I'd assumed? Even NOW I don't know the answer, but the answer from check-in girl was that my cases were OK because my luggage limit was 30 KILOS!! Pfffff and that meant I was 4 kilos UNDERWEIGHT!! All that time worrying and stuffing trousers into my hand luggage and rearranging and I could have ADDED 4 more kilos!! Ah well, all to the good.

So things were off to a very good start. So I now had around two hours to kill. Better than being late I suppose. So I alternated between walking around, browsing and going up and downstairs. Oh, and I went to the Am Ex currency exchange to get my first wedge of Saudi riyals with the money Dad had given me. Ex rate not so good but I didn't want to mess around with this first one. Got them, and they were rather long, thin notes .... rather like US dollars. Seems they are linked in more than just one way!

Anyway, time was passing and wondered where Dad was as he said he was going to meet me. Eventually my phone rang and he was there (downstairs at check-in). So up he came. Wasn't so long to go but we went for something to eat. And, as has often happened recently, I was served by a Polish woman (with surname Grabowska, Dad noted!) and the guy who came to take our trays away was a Pole too. Just to remind me what I was getting away from/going back to next.

Had a good chat and eat and then it was time to ..... Go Through!! The thing I'd been least looking forward to because then it was Goodbye Britain And Europe And Everybody I Know. A big moment.

Even THAT went smoothly enough. Procedure a bit different to what I've been used to in that the Shoes Off thing came further down the line. A slight hold-up at the last line before going to the gate as they wanted to check my laptop. But only the inside of the case – no need to turn it on.

It does seem that wearing this nice jacket helped me through all much more easily. Interesting they should judge me based on that fact, but after all that WAS part of why I got it!

So .... in around 5 and a half hours I would be in Riyadh and then, as I was told, all I had to do then was stay on the plane for about an hour and then a short hour flight from Riyadh to Dammam would finish it off. A short wait in the dep. Lounge and then on I went. STILL I was wondering WHERE my seat would actually be. Had I been elevated to First Class due to early check-in? And was that due to my nice jacket? (thank YOU Oxfam, Islington!!)

OK, time to go on. The moment of truth! In the plane door, to the left, and THROUGH .... the nice, wide First Class seats. OK, so THAT wasn't happening! BUT .... still nice! A TV screen in the headrest of my seat! Headphones plug-in socket! Plus the usual aircraft mag, sick bag etc etc. and leg room not bad either. BUT my footrest didn't stay up. A minor thing. Oh, I opened one overhead storage to put my bags into but it was full – VERY full! Was worried that all its contents would fall out onto the man sitting below but managed with left arm to push it up closed again and opened the one opposite which was more empty. Didn't get my book out as there was a man waiting so just put my bags in it and went to sit down. Hmmm .... no book for nearly 6 hours in the air AND I had the window seat with the one man to climb over. Obviously no reading was going to be done THIS flight! But with this TV screen facing me now maybe I'd be OK. I thought only First Class bods had stuff like that. Or maybe Saudi Arabian Airlines are just that bit better ....

For now, the only thing I could see on the screen was a very blurred view of the outside. A cockpit camera! What was the use of that? Erm .... well, not a lot if truth be told and even LESS useful when we'd be in the air. But something novel maybe.

Tried to get something else but nothing was coming yet. The big screen was showing the usual seat belt/life jacket/oxygen mask stuff as was my headrest screen. Ohhh ..... you mean we don't get to see the Saudi flight attendants doing it? Nope.

NOW .... speaking of flight attendants .... YES, they WERE women with those Gulf Air-style head-dresses so that hair is covered loosely but not face. WOMEN flight attendants on a Saudi plane!! One page of the Saudi stereotypes book to be ripped out then – I assumed they'd all be men! AND all the other Saudi women passengers were dressed fairly normally (but covered up as Riyadh approached including one VERY attractive woman in the front row who had beautiful long dark hair and a lovely face). I suppose that being in London they didn't feel the pressure or obligation to cover up and weren't coerced to do so by their husbands.

The flight itself was long and just about bearable. The last time I had such a long flight was my round-the-world stuff so that's nearly 14 years .... and one older body .... later. The flight started with the flight attendants bringing around face wipes. Funny time to bring them I thought! I looked around for the headphones. But how to hear from the TV? Was it one connection for the radio and another for the TV? TWO sets of headphones? Nope – headphones appeared a little while later and plugged into the seat armrest and THIS gave me sound from the TV. Technology eh! So what we got on this TV thing? Well, there were movies (Hollywood, Asian and Islamic), TV/shorts, radio, airshow camera (for view of outside – mostly useless!), games (?!), other music (Hooverphonic were pictured but the album didn't actually exist as another had been duplicated in its place), something called 'radio' (which was actually a pre-recorded 60 or 90 minute show of a variety of genres from pop to classical to asian to islamic) and a few other minor things too.

Movies!! Nice!! Well, I thought so but only the 'Hollywood' ones were in English. And NOW the Saudi stereotypes book could be added to ....

Yes, they WERE real Hollywood films. BUT, as each one announced at the beginning, the film would be cropped for the screen size AND would have its content EDITED. Ah HAH, I thought, now we'll see what Saudi is all about.

OK, so I chose the Will Smith film, HANCOCK, to watch. Overall summary of it? Pretty boring. BUT there WAS a lot of very amusing editing. Any time there was a bottle of alcoholic drink, a religious symbol (mostly crosses), women's KNEES and some amount of women's chest/cleavage line showing, then this was BLURRED OUT. Yup, blurred out. Oh, and the scene on the beach where Will Smith throws the big whale back in the sea – ALL other people on that beach were COMPLETELY blurred out! And there was much editing too. Of WHAT I'm not sure because I haven't seen that film before. But when I got to the end, the film didn't make sense. The things which had been edited out were, I THINK, scenes of violence, kissing and other related scenes of affection, and various swear words had been over-dubbed with other milder words (for example, the word ASSHOLE had been much-changed to PSYCHO .... BUT I think the editing had been done at the Hollywood end rather than the Saudi end because the accent was the same!). Well, many countries do have their standards of course, but what had been edited out made the film not make sense in my view. I also watched the X-Files movie (a new one, it seems) and it too was subject to editing and didn't make much sense. Or perhaps it was my tired state of mind that wasn't following it all. Anyway, going back to the blur-outs, it was only the close-up 'chests' that were blurred out and only those from front-on. And some had been overlooked! Oh, and ONLY women were blurred upon. Men baring their chests were all OK so the scene where David Duchovny is full chest-on was not edited at all. Women-only editing, eh??!! Too exciting!!??

Wasn't much to see really on this headrest TV thing. The blur-outs annoyed me after a while so I didn't bother with any more and that rather limited what I could do with the TV and therefore limited its use.

Didn't mention the airline meal. Was OK – I had the chicken dinner and it was nice and a few new things in it for me. Rice wrapped in a kind of vine leaf with lemon or maybe some other pickle-tasting thing. Other things fairly standard. No wine of course. All OK.

Just about everyone got off in Riyadh. Women had, by then, all got covered up in traditional and expected Saudi attire. Didn't notice the men changed much but maybe I didn't look. Well I was looking but not looking if you get my meaning. Cos it's not good to stare at burka'd women. Anyway, there were a few expats and a handful of Arabs left on. Expats mentioned how uncomfortable the seats were and I had to agree with them. They were obviously old-hands of the Saudi scene as they were discussing things like whether there were less seats on the plane than there used to be. Not a lot really. So take-off time came again and away we went. This time the TV system was off but no big loss really.

Forgot to mention the view from Riyadh airport. Well coming in couldn't see as was v cloudy. And all I could see out the small plane window was the imposing dome of the mosque outside Riyadh airport. Nothing else distinctive. Even less to see at Dammam airport.

So almost two hours after landing at Riyadh we were in Dammam airport. The Big Moment!! Actually when I went to get off I saw there were more people getting off than I thought were still on the plane. Got my stuff and off I went feeling just a bit pensive at what was to happen next. Had been expecting this, the Saudi customs part, to be the worst of the whole journey.

Wandered through. Décor reminded me INSTANTLY of a 70's Polish-style hotel. The walls, the ceiling, the feel of the place. But no Polish female lovelies there to greet me unfortunately. A small expat crowd including a family with a young daughter of about 10 years old. Wondered what they were doing here – surely THAT little girl didn't call a place like THIS her home!? So I joined a passport control queue and waited my turn. All seemed very orderly and normal and without hassle. Noticed the customs soldier boys had digital cameras on tripods which they were taking photos of the expats who passed through. Standard procedure probably. Also noticed they were putting their fingers into something which I discovered later was to take fingerprints. Full security stuff! But as expected.

OK, my turn came and all was fine until the customs guy asked me where my ..... (something) was. I thought he meant my boarding card but it wasn't that and instead was the Landing Card I should have filled in. Well, I haven't done such a thing for so long that I didn't think to look for it. So was directed back to a desk where such cards were, though not with any hostility or nastiness. Got it and – well, I was pretty tired by now so was probably writing rather slowly. In the end I had filled in the first side and that was the main bit. They called me back to go through again. All was OK – did the photo and fingerprints thing (though had to do the photo twice as the first one I'd had my eyes closed! Too tired!). Noticed that some of the expats seemed to be waiting – for me? Maybe it was just in case I got any trouble rather than them going through and leaving me to fend for myself versus Saudi customs. Was a nice gesture.

Anyway, all that was completed. I'd imagined being hauled into a room for an hour and all that stuff. Nothing of the sort! So down the stairs now to the baggage reclaim.

A man in green was there to greet me with a luggage trolley and although I didn't need it, I accepted his help and he put my bags on the trolley and wheeled me off to baggage reclaim. Was a little nervous about a strange guy in control of my trolley but was OK and we got to the baggage conveyor belt where my bags had already been taken off. Fetched them, onto the trolley and then out the final door.

Nope, not yet. Was another stage to go through as all the bags were put through ANOTHER X-ray machine. Ohhh it's rather a lot to go through when it's after 2am local time and you just want to get through, find the guy waiting for you with his sign and then get in the car and be off.

Didn't need this porter man as I said but he seemed determined to help and I didn't mind. Through the final set of doors, people were there waiting and .... NO SIGN with my name on. The time was 2.45am.

“Won't be long”, I thought. After all, they said this wouldn't be a problem with someone waiting and anyway I had the phone number if he wasn't.

The next FOUR (or was it five) hours passed very slowly. Nobody came. Now, I have to say I am having trouble remembering EXACTLY how I passed the time. But I think it went like this: first I sat at a table at the airport cafe with my orange juice drink waiting and watching others around me (of which there weren't many). Again more 70's Polish hotel décor ESPECIALLY in the ceiling above the cafe (hard to describe, but lots of wood and wood effect everywhere). A few Saudis sitting around – one with red checked head thing on his laptop one moment and a little while later with head on the table asleep. Were a couple of expat guys around – one had a very small laptop which he obviously WAS on the internet with. No blocking THERE then! Eventually a Saudi guy came for them – I moved my trolley towards that group but was waved away. Wondered for ages if that HAD been my group – after all, can't be THAT many expats coming to this town to work. Taxi drivers were around constantly. Mostly it was obvious what they were, but there was a new “trick” here. One would stand at the door out and beckon me over. Ah hah, I would think, here's my lift in the car. So over I would go and ask him. He would ask me where I was going or I would ask him. He would babble something incomprehensible. It would then become evident he WASN'T the guy sent to pick me up and I would turn round and go back in to the table of before.

Decided I had to try get a simcard and then I could phone this number. Another nice little airport rip-off thing with guys in shops beckoning to their mates sitting there who would then come and try to sell me something which was most likely well overpriced. Eventually I found the so-called Business Center where there was a landline phone so I called the number of Transportation. Yes, they said, they'd send someone over. But nobody came and that was about 4am. After waiting a long time, I went upstairs to the Business Center again to phone again, but it was SHUT! So, as I saw it, I couldn't phone and couldn't buy a simcard and therefore I was STUCK until the morning light! Bloody HELL!

Waited, waited, and had to do something. Went to ask the guy in the shop downstairs if there was a phone in the airport somewhere. He said no and then asked if I wanted a simcard. I said Yes so he got one of his friends over and I DID get a simcard. But all was done properly – I was allowed to try it first. Was OK so then I could call. Realised I had to get the local area code in front of the phone number I had, but did so. Phoned finally with my mobile, but was only an answerphone message. So THAT TOO was a dead loss and it was about 5am.

Went to sit down again with nothing left that I could do except wait to the morning and 7am when I knew for SURE they'd be in and I could phone. A lot of time to wait.

Eventually the trolley guy appeared again. I don't know WHAT the time was. Time was all relative there and I can't quite work out how it all passed and what I did and when. Anyway, he offered to phone this number for me, which he did. I thought he was then going to ask for more money. Ah, I didn't say earlier that I had given him some money for helping me with my luggage trolley. Well, I gave him 50 Riyals – on reflection way too much but never mind. He did help in the end. So he phoned the number, someone answered and they too said they would come to get me. I was without hope by now but all I could do was sit there and wait.

Had some coffee about an hour before ..... yes FINALLY someone DID appear, said my name and said the name of the place I was going to. This WAS clearly the guy and not a taxi tout. FINALLY my wait was over! But don't ask me what time that was!!

Was it four, five or six hours waiting in Dammam airport? All too many whatever it was!! Absolutely SCANDALOUS that I, a new teacher and new guy in a new and VERY foreign country should have been abandoned like that. But I was too tired to care now as I had my bags in the car and was heading down the road AWAY from Dammam airport finally to the compound which will be my home for the next year.

My impression of the journey from the airport to the compound? Lots of sand for sure plus occasional green tufts by the roadside. Other cars on the road were tooted at to let them know we were behind them. I said nothing the whole journey and neither did the driver – a Saudi man with a limp who was obviously known by all there. At the entrance he took my passport to the guards. I wondered if I would get it back but he returned WITH it and with an envelope which contained my key and some other thing to read. Didn't bother reading it until I got there.

Got to my block and two Chinese-looking guys there were called over to help with my bags. So I and they went in and into the lift and up to floor 3. Then to MY ROOM!

My first impression was just how ordinary it was although plenty big enough in size. Certainly bigger than I'd had in Krakow but not looking like it had been decorated that recently. All that mattered was the bed right now. The time was something after 8am but it cold have been anything. Decided to unpack then. Ten minutes after I was there, the phone rang and it was the Head of Department. Yes, i had only just got there and yes, I HAD been waiting all night. Said he was going to complain, which was good as it was well justified. But I was too tired to feel anything by now.

My last action of the 'day' was to unpack, put things away roughly and get into bed. Well, I knew it was likely to be a long day but I didn't expect to have added the WHOLE night to it as well. WHAT A TOTAL NIGHTMARE!!