Heat Goes UP, English Goes DOWN!

Sunday 31st May 2009
Well ....

We're in to Week 7 of the course. And now boredom is setting in. Or it's getting too hot. Or I've had enough. Or Monitor Man is stirring them up maybe with Leg Man in assistance. Or .... Or ....

Whatever it is, my Bad Day Count per week is increasing. The end of last week together with the first two days of this one have brought more bad days than I've been used to recently.

What kind of bad days? Well, their attention to me is decreasing rapidly. And THIS time I mean from the BEGINNING of the day and not from post-break time as it used to be.

Not all of them. BUT currently the chair arrangement is bad and I must fix it tomorrow. There is a row of chairs at the front of the class and all others have been pushed back against the wall. This means that there is a big gap between the two and the result of this is that the ones at the back think they can talk and chat and create as much disturbance as they like because .... well, maybe they think I can't hear them or they feel they're 'safe' back there. Or maybe they distance themselves from the class and therefore they don't feel a part of it now. I REALLY don't know, and quite frankly I don't want to even THINK about it now as it's the day end and I'm trying to enjoy it.

Now, back to Leg Man. At the end of the lesson on Wednesday he came to me and said he would NOT be absent in the week to come. Good, I said. However, he added, “inshallah”, to what he had said. Now, OK, I know that ALL muslims say Inshallah to everything but to me it's a bloody poor excuse to do what the hell they like because they can justify that it is “meant to be” because 'Him Upstairs' wishes it that way.

But I don't buy it. In fact, it excuses NOTHING. They drive like crazy because “inshallah”. They don't work hard because “inshallah”. They don't study for the test because “inshallah” they will get through it OK.

Is, “inshallah”, some sort of code for “I am a lazy sod and this is my excuse for not putting any effort in!” ?? Because THAT”S what it looks like to me! ESPECIALLY in the case of Leg Man. Yes, as you have predicted already, Lesson 1 Period 1 on Saturday he was of course very late to the class and, as is standard procedure, I marked him as absent. The ONLY absent one yesterday and for most of today. And what did HE say about it? Ohh, wide eyes! WHY am I absent, he says. He can't believe it that AGAIN I have marked him absent. Everyone else is OK but just HIM absent.

Yes, MORON, you are ABSENT!! It is NOBODY'S FAULT but you're own. I do not mark absent just for fun, but simply because you are not in the classroom when I do the register. AND I even don't do the register until about five minutes after the official lesson start. So you get five minutes FREE! And yet STILL you can't get yourself here on time!

Ohhh, but even when he IS here, there are more problems. Does he have a pen? Or writing paper? NO AND NOOO!! He comes to class totally unprepared to take part in the lesson. So of course since he doesn't HAVE a pen, he can't do the work that the others are doing. SO what does he do instead? Talk, chat and generally distract. Oh, and SLEEP too!

Ah, now I must be fair here. It is not only him who does the talking and distracting. In fact, compared to HIM, Monitor Man is FAR WORSE. Not only does HE do almost nothing, but he talks ACROSS the classroom to anyone and everyone who will listen. And unfortunately they DO listen to him and they turn around and then it all goes to hell.

I don't know if I mentioned last time, but I gave them a test last Wednesday. It is a regular thing I do with them every three weeks. If anything, it gets them to, at LEAST, sit down and study just a BIT of what I have tried to put into their tiny minds. If ever there was justification for a test then THIS is it – a Test is a tool used by teachers to ENSURE their students are paying attention and that they SOMETIMES do study their English (even if it is only the night before!)

Well .... last time the results were pretty good and I felt I'd achieved something good. THIS time, however, the results were really rather poor. The marks ranged from 63 percent down to 43 percent (this excludes the new student who only got 26percent). Compare THAT with a range from 72percent down to 48percent and you see two things – one good and one not so good. The GOOD point is that the gap between top and bottom student has narrowed slightly from 24percent down to 20percent. HOWEVER, the SECOND thing is that the standard of marks TOO has gone down. And this happened particularly with those at the top end who dropped something between five and nine percentage points off their previous effort.

Why did this happen? I don't know for sure. In many cases it was because they simply did NOT read the question properly and flashed through far too fast. A problem with students in general in many cases. But a big mark-loser! Secondly (and this one was expected) the difficulty level of what we had done had gone up. Thirdly, they didn't study enough I'm sure (if at all!). Fourthly, perhaps those at the top end couldn't be bothered to study thinking they'd be alright without it. The “inshallah” effect again! After all, why bother to study if it is determined ALREADY what will happen?

Of course, the test itself may have been too difficult. No no, my friends, I do not put ALL blame on the students. Possibly it was too long – in particular the first Paper. This time I put in more sections than before trying to have more variety. Oh, AND I used some pictures for items such as Parts Of The Body and I wanted a picture for them to write about too (THAT went fairly well!) Next time maybe I will not put in quite so much. Just if I take out one question or ten-marks worth it might do the trick.

But WHY do I want to be nice to them??

Ah, now, another thing about the test itself on Test Day. Well I had to deduct marks from FIVE of them for copying, communicating and talking. I gave warnings more than twice. In fact, if I had chosen to be MORE strict then MANY MORE of them would have been deducted marks.

So what happened? Well, one guy at the back got it first. I noticed he still had his bluetooth earpiece on but decided to leave it there. However, at the start of the test he was talking. I told him twice or maybe three times to stop but he carried on. RIGHT THEN! Over I went to his paper and crossed out the section he was on! MARKS GONE!!

The next two were more eye-opening. And the COPYING ones were .... well, they were just taking the mickey! At the end of the time for Paper 1 I went around collecting them in. Did I say already I have a new student? Well, yes, and he arrived at the start of the week. He is, apparently, a cousin of Monitor Man (same surname). Anyway, at the end of this part of the test I was collecting in the papers. I started at the back and his and his cousin, Monitor Man's, I collected in last. And WHAT did I find?? I came to find that Monitor Man was writing the answers for his cousin's test paper!!

At first I thought, Ohh this is just too stupid to care about. But then I thought that i HAD to do something. This could NOT be allowed to happen! What the HELL did this guy think he was doing? Does he think the classroom rules and regulations of the test do NOT apply to him and to his cousin?? They apply as MUCH as to anyone ELSE in that class!

So I decided I was going to deduct BOTH of therm TEN MARKS each and told them so. Utter disbelief on their part! “But do you think it is RIGHT or GOOD that you are doing HIS test??”, I demanded to know. No, it was not good, Monitor Man agreed. So the penalty had to be paid. On and on they went about how this cousin was a new student and maybe he needed help. NOT during the TEST though!!

No, that guy was taking the mickey and was once AGAIN thinking that he is a law unto himself and that, just because of his “privileged position” with his little job that he was above everyone else. WAKE UP BUDDY and SMELL THE COFFEE!! YOU are a student here as are ALL the others.

Know what HE got in the test (I mean, Monitor Man)?? A measly 48 PERCENT!! Pathetic! Even if he had NOT lost his ten marks, it would STILL be not much better. HAH!! A kick up HIS backside!! Bloody know-it-all!!!

Now to the 'communicators'. This was right at the end of Paper 2. Two of them who always sit at the back were talking together. Again, as is standard, I told them more times than I should have to stop this and each time they said it was the last time. But then they did it that once more, and that was it. Over I went and ten marks off each of THEM!

This was a pity but had to be done.

On marking those two's papers, it is quite 'uncanny' how they got almost the same mark for the test overall!!

Was I born yesterday? Sorrrrreeeeee boyssssssss!!!!! Try another sucker for THAT one!!

SO it was an eventful test as you can see!

On a final note, I am happy to say that our infamous Mr Leg Man was bottom of the heap with a measly 43 percent.

That reminds me of something else. Two days after the key throwing incident I went to see the multi-striped guy in charge of Student Affairs. The same one who had come in the day before to haul him out for a dressing-down. Now, I didn't expect to hear much positive but I wanted to find out what had been said and also to put in my point of view. What I was told was that, “Maybe it was some kind of misunderstanding”, or maybe a language problem. Well, language problem maybe, but there IS no kind of personality clash as was being suggested. I explained what had happened on that key throwing day and I also told the man what this Leg Man is like on the whole. On the Discipline Report there was not room to explain fully enough so it was clear that I needed to. I think this man understood the situation better. No action was explicitly mentioned straight away, though if there was any MORE trouble with him then I should come back.

I was not clear after that what action THEY had taken apart from tell him what a naughty boy he had been. Had he been booted out of the class? No, for sure not because he was back in that class at the end of Lesson 4. Was that the last I'd see of him? Well, evidently not since he appeared on Saturday as normal.

So quite WHAT will happen or indeed what HAS happened is unclear. However, the situation will be monitored and I will NOT let things deteriorate with him further.

I am wondering whether to talk to this guy about the behaviour of Monitor Man seeing as he is such a “Favoured One” and has his “job” to do. My opinion is that Monitor Man knows he is 'untouchable' because nothing will happen to him whatever I say. Therefore nothing I say will do any good. HOWEVER, I am certainly NOT going to ignore it! If those two were not in the class, then everything would go SO MUCH BETTER. That has been proved time and time again. Today was a prime example. I was so wound up by Lesson 4 that i counted down to a set time and then marked EVERYONE who was NOT in that classroom at that time as absent. Of COURSE this included everyone's favourite, “Gruesome Twosome”, who could not believe that I had done such a thing and promptly disappeared out the door again together with one other I had marked absent.

Have to laugh now!! A few minutes later both Leg Man and the other guy who had also left came BACK into the classroom looking like they'd had a GOOD telling off!! Obviously been caught sneaking out and told to GET BACK IN sharpish!! But .... Monitor Man, who had ALSO left with them, did NOT reappear.

See what I mean? It seems the rules of the classroom do NOT apply in his case! WHAT I am I supposed to do with THAT??

As I sit here tonight writing this, I have counted that there are 53 teaching days to go until the summer. This already takes account of the Every-Fourth-Wednesday student day that they are allowed, the one-week holiday/break that is coming in mid-June and the days that will be Test Days.

I am counting these because I am now feeling increasingly under pressure and I seem to be coming back to my room much more often feeling like a bad day was had. Yes, I AM a very experienced teacher as most of you will know of 13 teaching years in length. But MOST of my teaching has been with the ADULT end of the market. I do NOT have so much experience with the teenage age group.

“But they ARE adults!!”, you say. In terms of age, yes they are. BUT in terms of student age and mental age, most of them ARE still VERY IMMATURE. They do NOT understand what it is to be a student. Fundamental things like bringing a pen and writing to paper EVERY lesson are SERIOUSLY lacking for a large number of them. Only today in the back row there were two pens being passed between FIVE OF THEM!! Therefore that meant three of them had a “good excuse” to do nothing and to chat, play with phones and distract.

Answer me this – HOW do you keep order in a class where so MANY of your students don't have the fundamental things they need to MAKE USE of that class time??

No, no. I don't require ANY of my students to be perfect learning machines. Everyone learns differently. But this is a CLASSROOM, NOT A PLAYGROUND!!!

And speaking of 'playground', the silliest things keep some of them amused. Like pulling the blinds up and down. Like wiggling a pen up and down in your fingers. Like talking to the teacher in Arabic which he won't understand. Oh, and of COURSE like talking on your mobile phone in class. And playing with it and making noises.

But of course to them that's OK because this is their precious phone and costs a lot of money (which they enjoy telling me about).

Last week, I brought in my phone for a language presentation on Comparing Things. Was a good idea and I will do it again. But ohh – such an old phone I have, they said (it ISN'T so old). And, said one, my phone cost 2000 riyals and what about yours? Well, I said, about eight times less. And for sure I'll have more money than THEY do for other things.

No no, I didn't say that last part. But I wanted to.

So .... how can I get their attention back? And do I WANT TO? Well, I suppose the wellbeing of the class depends on it. About ten more weeks to go. A LOOOONG ROAD ahead and if things are not going to go well then it's uphill all the way.

I don't wanna do it! Yes yes, think of the money. Ah yes, I've just had my 'payslip' for May. Always brings a smile to my face, though it IS only May and we're not even into the Big Bad Summer.

OK, enough writing now. Time for some tea.