Saturday 20th June 2009
So much to write about today – TOO much in fact, and I regret ONCE AGAIN leaving so long between diary entries. But what has happened is that I have had the absolute WORST WEEK in this country with this class so far!!
Ohhh WHERE to begin? And what IS IT that has made it this way? Tiredness? Another ill period coming on? My patience finally getting the better of me? The reality that I have FAR TOO MUCH TIME to go and that prospects for better times here are slim?
Maybe it is YES to all of these. Because when I looked at myself in the mirror a few days ago, it was not a pretty face that looked back at me. The face I saw was VERY tired looking and with nasty great bags under the eyes.
Can't remember when I had that before. Don't, in fact, remember at ALL suffering from this kind of thing although I have, of course, had insomnia a-plenty over the years for this and that reason.
It's what you term a Wake-Up Call.
HOW did I get to look like this? Because it seems to have come on rather suddenly over the last week or so. I didn't notice it coming on before. Does it coincide with my virus infection the week before? I would say YES.
OK, back to the main event(s). As I left it, I had seen my none-too-pretty face in the mirror and was wondering about it. So let me now try to go through what has happened this week.
All started last Saturday. The day started normally, got up normally, went out normally with my colleague out of our block and around it to the gate which takes us through the wall. This wall is the 'marker' between our residential blocks and the military area where we teach our classes.
The gate was locked shut!
Why? Don't know the reason. Just another of those, “Let's annoy those expats in a different way this week!”, kind of things. Ohhh, and it DID too!
What could we do? Well, we had to go up to the college of course. The thing is, you see, there are only two practical ways to get to this place – the gate and the bus from outside the college in the morning. But, being after 7.15am, this bus had gone of course.
Luckily there was another guy who in the predicament with us. Well, and ALL the other people who use this gate to get to work in the mornings too. There is no telling how many people this nonsense has put out. Do they care? Pffff – what do YOU think?
So this guy came with us to the college. The thing we had to do was to phone for the bus to come back, and this he did. But by this time it was about 7.25am and for SURE we were going to be late for our classes.
The bus came in the end and off we went. What did this mean for the days to come? Well, it would mean having to get up much earlier in order to get out earlier to get to the college to get on this regular bus 'service'. WHY SHOULD WE HAVE TO PUT OURSELVES OUT just because some idiot couldn't do his job and get that gate open??
Now, this was me back after illness, and I was straight into THIS. Hardly a 'warm welcome' back into the teaching “fold”. Anyway, in I went to class, there they all were sitting. In I went and it actually seemed they were pleased to see me! It couldn't possibly last!
After that stupid start to the day, I was in no mood to do anything meaningful so just proceeded to give out grammar worksheets for the remainder of that morning. That really didn't work out well. As usual they muttered about yet more paper, but I thought nothing of it. But this disturbance at the start had definitely ruined the day and they got more and more restless and noisy the rest of the morning. I didn't mind a certain amount of noise but at the end of the lesson they were completely ignoring me and all were gathered in a circle-group over on one side to talk and yell loudly at each other in the kind of boisterous 'conversation' that these people seem to do a lot. Told them many times they had to keep it down, but I was invisible by that time. Ignored like I didn't exist, no respect and definitely not listening to me. A raucous end to THAT morning after a nightmare start.
That evening my colleague called me. What about tomorrow, he asked. I replied that I was NOT going to put myself out and get up earlier just because SOMEBODY couldn't do their job and get that gate open. He would go over to the college anyway, he said.
In the morning I DID get up at the normal time. But I realised that I should be able to see from the window the gate and whether it was open or not.
And, indeed, it was closed shut and locked again! So it seemed that this was no one-off.
Had to go to the college and get the bus. But one thing I realised was that, in fact, I did NOT have to get up much earlier in order to get to the college for the bus.
Good news since it was the way things were for the rest of the week and, so far, this week's start too.
What IS going on with that? A security problem? Well, since anyone who is able enough can put down something to stand on and CLIMB that wall with ease, then that wall is not secure anyway! Too easy for those who want to to scale it.
I have noticed that, much further down, there are sections of that wall which have barbed wire across the top section. Maybe that would serve them better than inconveniencing so many people who depend on that gate to be open.
I liked that gate. A nice, easy way to get to work on foot without the hassle of a bus ride. But, as with do many things, you can't get settled with anything for long around here. Always SOMETHING ELSE to knock you back into insecurity and unsettlement.
The next day we got the bus. But the lessons were a NIGHTMARE again and the students were even MORE raucous and wild at the end in their 'group huddle'. I could do absolutely NOTHING with them, nothing at all. They didn't do what I gave them, and in the end I was so worked up that I was going round almost THROWING the next worksheet at them. TOTALLY useless they were and for once they really were treating me as if I was not there at all, just totally ignoring me, not doing any work and being obnoxious.
The next day was slightly less mad but by then I was sooo wound up by these first two days that there was no way I was going to do anything else except keep giving out grammar revision worksheet to be done. After all, the test was due Wednesday so it was justified in my eyes.
As far as I could see, they were moaning at yet more paper for two reasons – firstly, because it something more to carry around, and secondly, because they would have to work and use their little brains. The poor, tired little dears!
One guy's bag is a joke. Instead of having a proper ring binder folder for all this paper I have given them, he keeps all the papers loose in his bag – a PLASTIC CARRIER BAG - and when he needs to find something he has to go through this pile and everything gets thrown around and out of order.
Speaking of this guy, on Monday he became only the second person I have asked to leave the classroom. Why? Well, he had been irritating me the whole morning as they all had. In HIS case, he was just being damn rude. It might have been a language problem at first, but I and others did correct him. But he insisted in keeping on with saying “Give me paper” on and on and I kept telling him to ask me properly which he would not do. On and on he went with this. I asked him to leave when he would not stop. “Bye Bye”, I said to him and waved him towards the door,m but he was still saying No. Well, I said, we can take this up with the military guy who deals with Student Affairs. I had used him before to deal with the Key Thrower. So there I was and I stood my ground. He did then leave repeating over and over, “Bye Bye London! Bye Bye
I will stand many things but blatant rudeness and disrespect like THAT goes beyond what I will tolerate.
I told his friend that I would only let him back in with an apology. So when I was sitting there drinking my coffee at break time, he and that friend came over. Yes, he DID have an apology. At first I told them to go away as it was break time and this was NOT the time. But he was sorry. He also made a very good point which was WHY send HIM out, a normally good student, and let other turds like Leg Man and Monitor Man get away with a LOT MORE?
I agreed with him that they were a bad pair. But I had no proper answer for why. I did tell him of Leg Man and his problems he had faced due to his key throwing. I also told them there was little I could do about Monitor Man because of his apparent immunity from reprimand.
So this was yet another bad day but it seemed not as bad as the first two. But I was pretty well wound up by the end of the day and it seemed this would be a week that would never end in a rational way.
But it was Tuesday when all this finally came to a head. Again it was a worksheet day in the continuing revision for the test that I was doing. I thought I was doing them a FAVOUR in helping them for their test. But NO!!
OK, now it's difficult to summarise what went on next. Before the main break between the two lesson blocks I had given them, I think, a grammar exercise which was Present Simple/Continuous gap-fill where they had three options for each gap. Now, as I was wandering around I noticed few of them were doing it but most had done nothing. “Do this on the board!”, they wanted. But I would NOT until they had used THEIR brains to do it themselves. Yeah, I could see that what they wanted was that I do the work and they do nothing while I was at the board explaining.
In the end I thought, “What the heck!” and went to the board to go through it with them. There were about 15 minutes to break time. I was so wound up YET AGAIN that they had spent most of the two lessons doing nothing. I started putting the numbers 1 to 18 on the board which were the numbers of the questions. STILL they were talking away behind me and for SURE not listening. THEY had asked me to do this and yet almost NOBODY was listening to or watching what I was doing.
I did maybe the first two with the standard two students actually listening to me while the others were laughing and carrying on as if I was not there.
THAT WAS IT!! I REALLY flipped. In a fit of anger I stopped writing, grabbed the whiteboard eraser and FLUNG IT against the whiteboard violently! It did not go anywhere far. With this, they DID stop chatting and I sat down yelling aimlessly at them that they were a complete waste of space and I was NOT going to waste my time or my breath when NOBODY was listening to a word I was saying. I said they could just do what the hell they wanted now as I had had ENOUGH!!
What I SHOULD have done was to storm out of the class and slam the door. But teachers aren't supposed to do stuff like that.
At moments like this I always recall the story of one teacher colleague years ago who had a headache in a lesson. He actually DID throw the whiteboard eraser at the board and storm out and I believe that things worked out better for him after that with his class.
Anyway, back to me. I had an EXTREMELY fraught 15-minute break period where I was hating everything and everyone. I didn't talk to anyone as I remember. Or perhaps I did and yelled. Don't quite remember now. But anyway after break time back in the classroom my “war” was to continue.
Let's just cut down what was said. Basically they were saying things like, “Why so much paper? We don't learn anything! Some people in this class are 2 months and not learnt a thing!!”, to blatant challenges to my authority as the teacher as a whole. Ohh I don't recall, again, all of what was yelled about but things were going about as badly as you can imagine with a class. I hated them and them me too!
However …. in the end some good did seem to come out of it. It was agreed (somehow!) that we needed a better coursebook since the kids' book, “Up And Away”, was clearly useless for them. THAT in itself was a useful step to take as they did at LEAST show a need and an interest in their learning. A positive step. “Headway Elementary” seemed to be a good way to go. But, I said, the college does not have the newest edition. Well, they said, we will go to Jarir Bookshop near Tamimi's and buy copies for everyone and one for you.
OK OK, no I did NOT believe THAT as any kind of promise. Especially when, following it, comes the word 'inshallah'. This word is, as far as I'm concerned, as good as saying, “I'm not going to do a damn thing”, or, “I don't give a damn what happens”. It is an excuse for inactivity and inertia because this is what has been willed to happen or not happen.
However, I thought, “We shall see ….”. But I knew well that we would NOT 'see' anything new at all. Cynical me. And rightly so in most cases.
Looking back on this class 'fight' there was, as I said, some good come out of it. And that was them showing that they DID seem concerned about their learning. And THIS is what it is all about in the end.
Now, today is Sunday. And I can report to you that yes, as expected, all we have in the class are three bad photocopies of the old Headway Elementary which ….. yes, they already have the answers filled in since they were taken from one of the student's old copies of Headway that he had used in a previous course.
“Not much use!”, you might think. Well, I would say that it is time to improvise …. which is a teacher's 'code word' for “to make things up as I go along”. With some guidance of COURSE!
Ah, I haven't mentioned the Test that they did on Wednesday. Not much to say except that the majority of them failed badly and they said, yet AGAIN, that a good test would be of the “Box Ticking True/False” kind. Yeah right, WHO needs a brain for THAT? NO WAY they're gonna get that from ME for SURE! Oh, and once again I had to deduct a heft amount of marks from two of them who insisted on talking to each other and would not stop despite being warned and told a-plenty. One guy was even blatantly turning around to look at the guy's paper behind him. So I kept on deducting marks from him. Suits me! During break the two of them came to me to ask me not to take these marks off but there was NO WAY I was moving.
WHAT IS IT with these clowns?? Don't they GET IT YET?? This is a friggin TEST and if you do this in the COLLEGE then you will lose more than just 15 or 20 marks from your paper!! Ahh, but you see this is the way they do it in this country. So WHAT THE HELL do the Saudi teachers DO here?? Do they LET THEM CHEAT? Do they turn a blind eye? And with WHAT AIM in mind??
It just makes me SO ANGRY!! Yes, of course I've encountered cheaters before in
When WILL THESE PEOPLE learn what it is to BE A STUDENT???
Well …. in the end I suppose I have the last laugh when I mark the tests and record the results. And …. watch them CRASH 'N' BURN!!! Ahh the satisfaction.
Except there IS no satisfaction because WHATEVER happens on this military course makes NO DIFFERENCE and even the WORST of them will magically get into the college from the new academic year!!
A thankless task!! And one with little point I think sometimes ….. except to earn some nice money.
I FINALLY got to the end of this week.
You can imagine what I felt like. Seven more weeks of THIS to go. HOW the HELL was I going to survive in one mental piece?
Yesterday and today were OK. Yes, the stupid gate is still locked and yes, we are still riding the bus to this place. But I do still come home for lunch. I need to. It may not be much but it IS at least some kind of sanctuary and an escape (albeit temporary) from the shit outside in the baking sun.
As I write this, it is difficult to convey as mere words on the page how all this has made me feel.
The summer edges very slowly near. Seven weeks will, I suppose, not pass too quickly as this is about the same amount of time as has gone to now. There is this one-week break coming soon which will be a welcome relief from those animals.
I don't know if I am preparing too much or too little. Why too much? Well because I am doing too good for them maybe. And why too little? Maybe I need to better fill the class time and keep them from getting bored.
But I don't KNOW what to give them every day! ANYTHING I try to do is only going to go the same way. So why SHOULD I waste my effort and time.
On one hand I don't want to waste my breath and board marker ink on people who, mostly, don't listen and are in the lesson to chat to their friends and distract. But on the other, maybe if I DO talk more to them this might at least KEEP their interest for a bit longer and may help to get ideas for what to do “the next day”.
This is a big “maybe”. Yesterday I managed it but today, looking around the classroom were SLEEPING students, students singing, students talking loudly to each other. There are two of them who seemed to think it was so funny talking what, to most people, would be childish, teenage talk about …. well about the things teenagers who are newly discovering hormones they never had before LIKE to talk about. Know what I mean?
Remember when YOU were 13 or 14 years old? What did YOU find funny then? That's them NOW!! Teens in soldier's uniform!!
I will try it this way from now. Use the Headway Elem book and improvise off the top of my head from what is on the pages …. as SLOWWWWWLY as possible. And then have tests on whatever we do in class. Or use the Headway Progress Tests. HeHe!! Devious AND resourceful!! That's ME!!
We will SEE how long THIS strategy lasts ….
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