Oh dear! More of the Same on the way ....

Friday 2nd October 2009
I'm sitting here right now, and it has returned. Yes, that feeling of bored frustration which comes of …. well, of sitting HERE not quite knowing what to do to fill my day. However, that said, I don't WANT this day to be gone because it only leads to Saturday and the REAL return to work and to the classroom.

Yes, I was back to the college last week but there were no classes (but that was expected). The first week is still full of registration and timetable-making activity for the Head of Department. Always it is a system “in flux” quite simply because people are coming in to register all the time and that plays with class sizes and the number of classes there are as a whole. Same thing everywhere I've worked.

I don't mind not knowing my timetable till late. However, it would be unnerving to a less experienced teacher who is about to begin teaching that he/she does not know WHAT or WHO he/she is going to have. I do not worry so much about this for as couple of reasons. Firstly, I can easily fill in the first few days with some other activities before things settle down and before the coursebooks come in to everyone's hands. I've had plenty of THAT these last 14 years of teaching and it is not the worst that can happen. Secondly, I do not worry about it because this side of organising things is not done by me. So any problems are not ones to worry about because they are not CAUSED by me. I hold the view that we, as teachers, do what we can with what we have and it is not worth worrying about things you do not have control over as a teacher. You do your job, they do theirs. Yes, sometimes it can be a little stressful if the delays in getting coursebooks are longer than you'd like. Yes, sometimes you have to do that extra bit of preparation while waiting for the books. But this is part of the job and thee are far greater things that you COULD worry about more.

So all I will do is turn up sometime before 7.30am tomorrow morning and see what I have. In any case, I am ready as I already photocopied a nice medical-related lesson which I used previously. Job done, and lessons are only 50 minutes which is no time at all. Oh, and let's not forget about intros, name learning, brief chats etc. etc. which will happen the first lesson or so.

Anyway, that's all to come. Now for what was. So what, if anything, of interest happened last week. Well, there were one or two moments to write about involving the new teacher and there was also a brief encounter with my old class of soldier boys.

OK OK let's get THAT ONE out the way first of all. As you can guess, the LAST set of people I want to lay eyes on this semester is ANY of those morons that I had to endure the classroom company of during this last six months. But I know that I can't avoid them as they WILL be around some days of the week. Well, Encounter #1 did indeed happen last week but in a rather unexpected way. It was about Sunday or Monday lunchtime and I was heading out a little early to go home for lunch. As I came through the reception area of the college there was a group of people hanging around at the reception desk. I didn't take much notice of them until I saw one of them looking over at me. They were not dressed in military uniform – well not the ones I saw. Then I heard a voice say, “Oh! Teacher David!”, and I noticed ..... the one I LEAST wanted to see of all - “Leg Man” as I nicknamed him looking over with that stupid grin on his face. He was in the traditional Saudi 'thobe' (white “cloak”) and I also noticed a guy in the Saudi “gutra” (red-checked head 'scarf') and realised it was “Monitor Man”! I carried on walking but faster. I DID acknowledge them with a quiet, “Oh hello”, and I did raise my hand but that was it. I sped up through the doors and in the direction of lunch. Heard a voice behind me, “Teacher David! Teacher David!”, but NO WAY on earth I was going to turn around or stop. On and on I went turning the corners which would take me out of sight of those toe-rags. When I was sure I was safe, I looked behind and nobody was there. PHEW! Got out of THAT!

Now every time I pass through reception I take a better look to see if I need to escape quicker.

OK, so on to the new guy. And what a self-important, jumped up little man he does seem to be! Word is that he's been recruited as a teacher but that HE is the “favoured one” to take over at end of January when our current HoD is leaving. NOT a prospect I can say I look forward to much judging on first appearances. SO what brings me to my judgement above after only one week? Well there are a number of things.

He HAS been in the Middle East before. Normally that should count in his favour as he knows the way they do things out here. So things that a new arrival teacher has to do should be well-known to him. As you may remember from my early writings, he has to go through the procedures of the Admin department with forms to fill in and sign, he has to sign his contract, he needs to visit Security to get his Temporary ID badge and he needs to have his Medical over at the Employee Health centre and hospital. All that is two or three days worth of stuff which DOES need to be done though it is a lot for anyone to get through. Oh, and also he needs to give up his passport to get the temporary Iqama. And then there are procedures which need explaining like the 3-month probation, like the process of getting his Iqama, like the 5-month no-holiday rule, like the signing in and out procedure, and more besides. It IS a lot to take in when you've just come off the plane a few days before, but like every workplace thee are procedures for every new employee which ARE necessary.

He is rarely at the college! Where is he and where does he go? Nobody really knows but he seems to be going round upstairs talking to the ones in command up there about this, that and the other. By doing this, he IS sometimes breaking the “chain of command” which is something that you must not do here and can get you into trouble and also bring trouble for your boss.

Early on in the week he was discussing this with our HoD. Now, I am sitting in the same desk as before because basically the HoD would rather have ME there than THIS NEW GUY. Anyway, BECAUSE I am there I hear these little meetings and THIS one was for sure a good'un. They were discussing a few things and then he said about how he had been going round and discussing stuff with those upstairs. The HoD then said to him about how this was breaking the “chain of command” and how that would bring problems for the BOTH of them. “Oh, I don't worry about such things! It's not your problem!”, the guy said. Well he was reminded that it WAS a problem and is NOT the way to do things round here. “It's not your problem and don't worry about this! I don't CARE about it!”, he said again. “Well, what about being part of a TEAM?”, the HoD demanded to know. Well, they went on for a bit then the HoD said how difficult he had been and how much of a “prickly pear” he had been since he came here. At THAT point this guy said how he really “didn't have to listen to this”, and walked out.

Now, you may like it or not this “chain of command” thing, but it is the way here and needs to be respected. Laughed at, yes. Ridiculed, yes. But stuck to ALSO yes. And in any case, we are all in this together yes and we DO need to work together. I did not see anything wrong in what the HoD was saying but this guy's approach was just self-centred and arrogant.

He has “that” kind of tone of voice too that is irritating. He sounds like he does not really want to listen to you when you're talking to him and sounds like what you say isn't really of interest.

Well, after THAT encounter this new guy wasn't seen again almost the whole week in the college. I did see him one post-lunchtime occasion as I was going back to the college and there he was walking back in the direction of the accommodation blocks. Cup and saucer in hand he was! OK OK – it was a mug, not a cup. And OK, there was nothing actually IN the mug but the image of this man walking around carrying his cup and saucer will amuse me for many a time to come yet.

I don't have much more to write about him as I hardly saw him. But whenever his name is mentioned around the college there is rarely a good word that follows. All through the procedure of actually getting him here he acted like a rather pompous git and TWICE refused the job offer he had been given. Well, to be fair he was FIRST offered the job of Head Of Department and then, after that, he was offered a Teacher's job. So THAT isn't something that is going to fill ANYONE with any confidence or joy at the prospect of coming here. But now that he IS here so he needs to try to fit in. yes, it's a nonsense place to live and work but there ARE admin things that everyone needs to get done and as far as I know he has completed few, if any of them. He will only make trouble for himself in the end and then THIS will bounce back on the rest of us.

But on a lighter note …. Hehe!! Just another eccentric character to join us out here and wouldn't life be so much MORE dull if we recruited boring people to come here. So from THAT point of view I a GLAD he is here as it will provide PLENTY of good material to write and talk about. Hats off to ya mate!

The English department is still three teachers short of what they need so our timetables are going to be rather heavy for a while. Well, not that this bothers me for reasons similar to the above. Again, I do what I can with what I have available to me and I'm not going to break MY back when my employer is at fault. I guess that by Christmas we might have what we need but who knows! And for sure very little will happen to get them here as two job offers that SHOULD have gone out were simply left unprocessed.

The teacher colleague I arrived with at the same time is still not back yet. Well, probably he IS now as I missed a call from him this morning so he IS most likely here somewhere. Word is that he got sick down in Morocco and had to get treatment by some doctor or hospital somewhere. I suppose he will be there tomorrow.

Hmm what else? Well, it was a nice easy week and although I did “loyally” come in for 7.30am every day I also sneaked off at 11am for lunch and returned well after 1pm and then sneaked/went off home again soon after 3pm. What did I do all day? Well, I was armed with my books of puzzles, I had my phone to go skype-ing, drank lots of tea, talked to colleagues and …. well, not much more. What is ONE week to kill when I had FIVE WEEKS when I FIRST arrived??!!

After many good morning espresso coffees during the summer, I had got quite a taste for it and that “morning kick” was something I thought would be nice to continue. So at the first opportunity I was down at the Carrefour supermarket and THERE IT WAS! An espresso and cappuccino coffee maker for the princely sum of …. 95 riyals!! Well, JUST the thing I wanted and I took it without much hesitation. It is a 110V model of course and is rather weighty so I am not sure if it will be worth taking it back with me when the Final Exit comes in March 2010. But that is a decision for then, not for now. BUT as I DO have a 240V to 110V transformer back home, there IS a case for taking it with me TOGETHER with my juicer and, indeed, any other electrical items which I may yet buy here. Don't know really – maybe it's just as easy to sell them when I go as there WILL be some items I won't be taking with me like my Mobily USB modem.

Ah yes, my internet connection. No, it is certainly NOT any better than when I left it! In fact last week I had almost NOTHING at nights and the only time I had anything was for the short time I was here at lunchtimes. Well, I DID go down and pay for the usual 5GB package. But now I am wondering WHY I have that one. With access so poor and connections dropping and with speed going up and down apparently at random, I am not sure it is worth paying all that money. Maybe from next month I will go down to having just the 1GB package which is half the price of what I have now. WHY waste my money on such rubbish? What I have now is, basically, the best of a bad bunch and that's not saying much!

So here I am. Week 1 Day 1 of semester 2 is approaching fast. The hardest thing has been once again getting used to the isolation of living here especially when most of this last 5 weeks has been much more free with people to see and places to go and the freedom to “roam”. Yes, this may well be the only place right now that I don't live in without a suitcase. And yes, it may well be something familiar, and yes, perhaps my diet is better here. Oh, and yes the pay packet is nice too. But life is not just a pay packet and life is not just about my bank balance and THAT is something important.

There is a small list of things I do like about being here, but I have to think HARD about it. I mentioned those above. But, in contrast, there is also a larger list of things that would HAVE TO change for me to stay on here and they are “biggies” and things which I cannot really change. The heat of the summer, the feeling of isolation, the lack of any kind of “community spirit” amongst us expats or even any kind of community at all, the fact that we are so far from the nearest town (18km by taxi), the fact that we need a taxi if we want to go anywhere, the lack of any kind of “green nature” to see and enjoy up here (though there is more down south of the country). Oh, AND the fact that I feel my time here as a teacher is wasted and indeed WAS wasted this last six months.

I have spoken to other colleagues. One guy in particular said that what he does is ALWAYS think about his next holiday, about when it will be and about how good it is to be away. That is his way to survive out here, and he has been here more than five years now. Although I agree that this IS a good way to survive your time in a place like this, it means that your ACTUAL time is in some kind of “void” or black hole. Fancy working and living in a place where your only joy is when you can next be OUT OF IT!! Living for your next “escape”! A survival plan it is, but for me it is no way to live your life.

Well, one good thing about being here is that I have plenty to write about. So stay tuned!

Friday 9th October 2009
Well they say a week is a long time in politics. So I wonder what they might say about a week here! I've only been back two weeks and already I feel I'm wanting to bang the exit door to get out of here!

No no no. I'm going to try to start positively. Got to think though. Well, yes, the temperature outside is definitely not as severe now as back in end August. Though pretty hot and humid especially at midday to early afternoon time. And I DO still need my umbrella to keep the sun off.

What else? Oh, well there is something though it may seem trivial and even childish. Are any of you out there fans or players of the computer game Football Manager 2009 (or earlier versions)? I am for SURE and I've just finished the season with Czech Republic team Brno in 5th place in the Czech First Division and as WINNER of the Czech FA Cup! YEEEEAHHH C'mon Brno boyzzzzz!!! Ach who needs to play as Real Madrid to have fun!!

OK I can't think of anything else positive. Sorry to say it was yet another dark week full of all the usual organisational chaos, uncompromising uncertainty and laughable farce that is the norm here. Yes, folks it's the start of a new academic year here at the college. Usually this is the most enthusiastic, the most optimistic time of year when students are excited to be here and when us teachers are full of good new ideas and raring to go.

But …. remember where I am. Yes, in this illogical land where assumption is dangerous and planning is foreign there is little to be happy about in this first week.

First of all let's get into the most serious item of the week. Now, as an employee here I have a certain number of holiday days allowance. They are, you would think, days that I myself can choose when and where to use them …. as in a “normal” workplace. I've had my five weeks over the summer which was great. Just over two weeks of my allowance is left and my plan was to use them over the Christmas and New Year period. Logical and sensible.

Yes of course I know this is a Muslim country and they don't have Xmas. But anyway surely, I thought, I can use my holiday days as I wish and THAT 2-week period is the time when I want to be away. Time for myself and family back in England. They are depending on me to be there and I look forward to it. It is NOT the religious aspect that interests me – just the family one and a rare opportunity these days to spend quality time with my son.

Not gonna happen!

I was chatting to a colleague during the first week back and the subject of holidays came up. “Which are you going to take – the two weeks at end November or the two weeks in mid February?”, he asked me. Replied that NEITHER of those since my two weeks were reserved for the Christmas and New Year period. “How are you going to do that? It's not possible! We're teaching, we have classes, your Holiday Request form will not even get past the Head of Department's desk and will go straight in the bin!”, he said. “How so?”, I enquired, “These are holiday days and THAT is the time I want as holiday!”. But there was no chance, he said.

I remember a similar conversation some months ago. Then we were talking about the summer just gone and the uncertainty of when that stupid soldier boy course would end. That would have affected holiday starts. Then there was the situation with that teacher who demanded (and got) a “holiday” soon after he had started his contract (and he, as predicted, did NOT come back! HAHA to THEM!). Because of what they gave HIM, it weakened their position on what they could or could not say NO to. Or so I thought.

Anyway, later on the subject of holidays came up when the HoD was around. So I asked him about this, and he did confirm that awful truth. He would HAVE TO, he said, deny any holiday request made during term time. Right now the college is a few teachers short and he would have to arrange for cover and anyway they ONLY let teachers have holidays during teaching time in EXCEPTIONAL CIRCUMSTANCES. “So what would happen if I DID submit a Holiday Request form for that 2-week period?”, I asked just to finally clarify things. “I would HAVE TO deny it!”, he said. “But what on EARTH do people Do around here at Christmas and New Year? It must be the most boring, depressing time EVER!!”, I needed to know. Yes, he agreed, it was but in his 40 years in the Middle East he had only ever had ONE Christmas off and that was during the first Gulf War when there were a lot of American troops in the country he was working in. Also, he said, the bigger employers in this area DID arrange something for that time of year. But then THEY have a much larger and much more integrated and better expat community which is much closer then what there is HERE at this place I work in. Well, THAT is for sure but it is not the slightest bit reassuring. With the greatest respect to everyone here I cannot imagine a place I LEAST want to be or people I LEAST want to be with over Xmas and New Year than where I am NOW!!

You think my mood is bad now? Just see how it gets the closer December approaches and the closer the end of this year, 2009, comes.

Actually on THAT score I will be glad to see the back of this year, 2009. It has truly been the most BORING, the most FRUSTRATING and the most POINTLESS year I have ever HAD!!

And most of it has been captured right here in this blog! Some consolation THAT is!!

So that leaves me with the question of what I SHOULD do with my remaining two weeks of Holiday Entitlement. I think I have two or three choices. Choice 1 – end November. Choice 2 – mid February. Choice 3 (if it is possible) – leave the two weeks to the end of my contract and take them then giving me an early exit. Choice 4 – don't take them at all and get paid for them at the end.

Choices 3 and 4 I don't know if they are possible. Taking holiday days during term time might well rule (3) out straight away. And Choice 4 I don't know if it is possible or not. I just heard yesterday from another colleague that one other teacher who left recently DID leave some holiday days to the end and apparently got paid for them. Whether that is true or whether the thing he got paid for was the End Contract Bonus I do not know. But both (3) and (4) need to be checked out.

If all four of these ARE possible then my current favourite is Choice 3. Shortening my time here has to be a good thing. The two weeks in November is neither here nor there and if I went to England it would only be an uncomfortable time knowing that Christmas and New Year are not possible.

I'm sure that story will run and run so stay tuned!

OK, what else? Ah yes – my timetable for the semester to come. Well when I got in last Saturday there was a memo telling me and everyone when the various courses were due to start. Nice and clear. Also I had my timetable and I knew which two classes I was to have and what days and times. Well, it was a large number of hours and rather a lot of time to consecutively spend with the one class in particular, but that is not much of a worry. BUT the news about WHERE these classes would take place WASN'T good. The class which only takes up three hours a week is in the main college building. The class which occupies 21 hours a week is in ….. the same building where I have suffered with the soldier boy morons the last six months.

DAMN AND BLAST!! Do I REALLY have to go over there again? Ohh YES I DO!! And worse than that. For TWO days in the week I won't even be able to come back here for lunch because the classes continue into the afternoon past lunchtime! So not only do I have to ENDURE going over there again, I have to suffer an EXTRA-LONG time there. And I will have to take my own lunch over there two days a week!!

Still …. I guess it means I will be able to go over to the other staffroom and sit on those NICE comfortable chairs in that NICE air conditioned office to eat my lunch.

HA!! You SEE! I have to resort to rubbish positives like THAT to try to make things seem OK!!

I suppose though that the number of class hours is the least of my worries. After all, and THIS IS a positive, all coursebooks are provided, the class CD is provided and SO IS the SYLLABUS of the course!

Yes, you DID see right! A SYLLABUS! A week-to-week breakdown of WHAT to do from WHICH BOOK and WHEN to do it!

There are four main course books covering different aspects of the course. Basically they are general English, Health Science English, Reading and Listening. There is also a Writing course which is very important to Arab students of course. And a large grammar book. ALL the students have to buy ALL these books. Is it a lot of books? Well, yes, but who cares about THEM! If this is what we use then that is what they need. But I wonder how long it will take the students of Saudi Arabia to get down to the bookshop to buy these books. They will claim things like No Time, No Money, Too Busy and more. But these are, I feel, student code-words for laziness. After all, it is these SAME people who constantly come without basics like pens and notebooks. Really the college should take this into account and get the books here, open a bookshop and sell the books from here. That way they can make SURE there are no excuses for bookshops which are too far away or out of stock or whatever.

But THAT, of course, requires ORGANISATION and PLANNING and even THINKING.

Do you see where it breaks down? Yup. Sad But True!!

Whooaahhh!! Hang on there – did you think that was the END of that topic? Not one bit.

OK, so it worked out like this for me as I thought. The 21 hours class would be starting next week but the 3 hour a week class would be starting on Saturday when they'd have one lesson and on Monday when they were due two lesson periods. So I got something ready to give the students for later on that day (Saturday) – just some kind of Intro Week stuff as they wouldn't have their new books yet.

The lesson was in the afternoon. So when the time came, I went upstairs to the classroom and sat and waited.

And waited ….. and waited …. and ….. and ….

Yes you've guessed! FIRST lesson of a brand new exciting academic year and …. a NO SHOW!

While I was standing outside the classroom waiting, one of the science teachers walked by. Seeing me standing there he asked me and yes, I said I was waiting. Won't be anyone today, he commented.

So having waited 15 minutes for NOBODY I took my things and went back downstairs.

Told the HoD there was nobody there and he wasn't surprised either.

What IS THIS HERE?? Week 1 Lesson 1 and NO STUDENTS SHOW UP?? What does THAT say about them and about what is to come? Where I come from, the start of the new teaching year is the best time of all. Yes, students are a bit rusty and need a refresher after a summer break without English. Yes, the classes are not yet full. But they start anyway and fill up as time goes on. Sometimes people move classes, sometimes people come once or twice and then never again, sometimes people never come at ALL. But THINGS HAPPEN and the school corridors are full of new students.

And what's more is this – get THIS! The students are allowed three weeks absence at the start! Yup, that's what I heard. THREE WEEKS where if they don't come at all then that's OK by the college Dean. And in Week 1 NOBODY is expected to come.

Excuse ME?? Well pardon me for my job! Didn't realise that I encroached so MUCH on the student's precious “free time”!! How AUDACIOUS of me to presume that I, a humble foreigner English teacher, could be the one to draw them away from their pool playing, hubbly-bubbly pipe smoking, driving lives!! Ohh and I thought I actually had a PURPOSE here other than “dispersal” of my humble mother tongue into their minds and hearts.

It is LAUGHABLE and COMICAL and FARCICAL!

Ahh but don't switch off YET my friends because there is MORE! I haven't said anything about the remaining 21 hours of my week. Oh, and before I forget, there was a “3-hours phantom class” too!

The 21 hours a week class is a class of students who are on a kind of Foundation course. They are not quite full “medical students” but need some kind of grounding on academic study skills, on reading, writing and listening skills and need to have some kind of medical vocabulary in English before they start their college years properly. It is a normal thing, and not only here. Generally a good idea because students may come here after many years out of the educational system and need such skills before they begin.

But there are, or SHOULD BE a lot of them. Ah, but HERE is the problem you see because there are NOT a lot. The college has set their sights on a figure of one hundred students in this Foundation year. All very well but right now the count is less than 50 and the academic year has begun.

Given this is not the only higher education college in this region, this is a problem. And there is also the reputation of this college. Students talk. This is the same everywhere, but they share knowledge on websites, by email, in chatrooms, by instant messenger etc. etc. so when the reputation of a place isn't good, then the word spreads. And the word seems to be that this is NOT a good college. As a teacher I know this, but when STUDENTS say this too THEN there are problems and new students are hard to come by.

Less than 50 students at THIS point in the academic year and little sign, apparently, that many more are on the way. They might get, optimistically, twenty more but this will take a good few weeks till this happens.

There are five teachers assigned to these Foundation year classes. But a class is supposed to be around twenty students in size.

Do you get the idea?

Either not all classes will start at all. Or they will start all five classes half full. Or some classes will start next week and then some teachers will be sitting doing nothing for some weeks. Then maybe the remaining classes will start in a few weeks time. Or maybe never.

I don't know what has been decided. Even down to last thing (4 o'clock) on Wednesday night (last day of the week) there was no information on what the situation was.

Last thing we were told is that we, the five teachers, should all come in at normal time, 7.30am, on Saturday morning (tomorrow) and see what the situation was.

But I bet they STILL don't know tomorrow. Then they'll tell us, “Go over on the bus anyway and see what's going on!”.

In other words, get up at the normal stupid time, get on that dumb bus and go over there for NOTHING all day and then sit there all day ALSO doing nothing. And then repeat same process all week and …. ohh as long as it takes probably!!

Sitting around. Doing nothing. Haven't I done enough of that ALREADY? Oh, THAT and trying to ”teach” brainless morons who don't know ass from elbow (Ha Ha! Medical student joke there!!).

This whole Saudi experience …. well an “experience” it sure IS. But a good one? And one likely to help my teaching career?

I think you already know the answers there!

According to my countdown timer here on my PC there are a little over twenty-two weeks to go till my Official Exit from here in mid March next year. And THAT can't come soon enough!

Nice syllabus though! And at least I won't have to use much of my own brain when (if at all) I DO eventually get in the classroom for my 21-hour boys. GREAT!!