Something Fishy in my Classroom ... literally!!

Wednesday 20^th May 2009

OK now. Today we're talking literal and non-literal meanings. Of WHAT exactly? Well, of what it means when I say that really there WAS something 'fishy' going on yesterday morning in my classroom.

I'll spill the beans – no need to keep you hanging on too long. There's lots more to come.

Now, some of you may know that I've been doing this English teacher 'thing' since 1995 – yes, nearly a whole 14 years of it will have passed when September comes around again. Ah, but then you have to take away the one-year break from 2007 to 2008 when I was in London trying to “make it” online.

Anyway, during this time I've had some nice presents from students. Usually they come at school year end and often include ordinary, everyday items like chocolates, ties, photo books and that sort of thing.

Yesterday, however, I had a “present” the like of which I have never had before, that I never WANTED before and that I hope is not GOING to happen again ....

So – there I was yesterday. Ordinary start to an ordinary Tuesday morning in class. I'm there checking the class register as I do every morning. The usual people are late so I mark them as absent as we are obliged to do. Soon, the door opens and in they come – those two clowns. The monitor/supervisor guy and his 'buddy', the guy who STILL has his foot in plaster from Week 1 Lesson 2. “Hello, Hello Teacher!”, they greet me as they come in hoping to get all the attention they can even though I'm more than ready to start the lesson. “I have this for you today!”.

And the monitor/supervisor guy has in his hand a plastic bag with .... a FISH inside it. A dead one of course. “This is for you”, he says and seems pleased with himself and his 'offering'.

“What the HELL is THIS?”, I think to myself!! Of all the things for a student to actually BRING into class, THIS has to be the weirdest ever whether as a 'gift' or otherwise. I mean, A FISH IN A BAG!!

No, I don't know what sort of fish it was. Standard fish market size, not especially big, silver scales, quite thin. I'm no expert on dead fish, you see. I don't need to be, I figure. But now maybe this is a skill I need to practice if this is the start of “Fish Gift Week” or something.

Well, of course I didn't want such a thing and didn't want it in the classroom stinking up the place. I suppose it was fairly fresh and recently bought. Possibly he saw it on his way in. Yeah right – I mean, it's the first thing you think of on your way into an English lesson, isn't it? “Hmm, yes, maybe the Teacher would like a FISH today”. Most students think of bringing the usual studenty things like pens, paper, notebook, bag etc. But THIS numbskull's head was elsewhere.

I think he did it just to get a reaction from me, which he succeeded in doing. I told him to take it away because I didn't want it on my desk or in the room. No, he wouldn't take it away but persisted in his nasty, evil-faced grin that he seems to have fixed on his face rather too often. Yeah yeah – a nice joke to play on the teacher today and let's see what he will do! So it was on my desk and I didn't want it. I wanted to get it out of the room and out of my sight. Such a STUPID thing to bring! Jeez that guy really winds me up!! He comes in late with his friend, Leg Man and they come round my desk like they're trying to be old buddies and like they think I'm pleased to SEE THEM today. Bus the fact IS that I'm NOT pleased to see them and would be happy if I never saw them again. The class runs SO MUCH BETTER without them because it seems their sole purpose in coming is to chat inanely to each other or talk loudly across the room when I am doing something at the front and trying to talk to the class MYSELF. The 'Leg Man' does NOTHING. His monitor/supervisor friend DOES at least do the work (mostly), but anyway I ignore him except to check what he is doing and that it is right. And although I hate to admit it, he does know more English than the others. Unlike Leg Man who, it is becoming clear, is quite a LOT below the others except when it comes to mindless chatter and inability to follow what is going on what is to be done. In THOSE things he is the MASTER SUPREMO!

So there I am wanting to get rid of this stupid fish and get the lesson started. I mean, all this is such a distraction, a waste of time and certainly NOT amusing to me at ALL. So I take this bag with the fish in and take it over to the bin. “No No No!!”, the students all say together like I'm about to do something really bad. OK, so I don't put it in the bin. Instead I turn around and try to give it back to this guy, but he doesn't want it. Well, I've had enough of this, so I throw it on the floor. Ohhh, there is a reaction from some of them, and 'Leg Man' indicates that this was a bad thing to do pointing up at the heavens as he says so.

Fish on the Floor – a terrible sin? Or was it just the fact that I threw a present onto the floor and this is a great insult? Seems that way. But this was no present. It was a stupid idea and a childish game he wanted to play. What's going to be next? Live crab?? Wriggling octopus??

Well, in the end he DID take this out of the classroom. First he wanted to hang the bag on the door but I said no as I didn't want the room smelling of fish. SO he took it away.

For the rest of that day, there was that fish-in-bag out in the rest area all alone just left on a table. Poor neglected fish!

Now then, we come to the possible symbolism of such a gift. I have searched online on the mighty Google but have found nothing at ALL about any significance of fish gifts, dead or otherwise.

HOWEVER .... have any of you out there watched “The Godfather” trilogy set of movies? Well, I haven't, but apparently there is a scene in one of them where a dead fish is given. Its significance? Well, in the prime mafia country of Sicily, it is a warning of death. It seems to mean, as I have now been told, that one of your family will be found at the bottom of a river somewhere. Literally, “sleeping with the fishes”!!

When I mentioned this fish gift to an online friend, she straight away came back with The Godfather and what it meant there. And one of my teaching colleagues also said the same.

Now, touch wood, all my family are safe and well and not in any danger. This is Saudi Arabia, not Sicily. Strange country, yes, but I think if there was any no-good thing going on then they would have other ways of going about it. Although this monitor/supervisor does have his “connections” to higher parts of the upper military ranks, I don't think it extends THAT far. So I rest easy .... though if any of you know of any significance of such a gift in Islamic and/or Saudi and/or Arabic culture then please let me know.

Basically I think it was just plain WEIRD and the attention seeking behaviour that you might come to expect of a boy of HALF his age. That is all I think it is.

Hmmm – what else has happened this week? Well, it was the end of course Week Number Five! How many more to go? No no NOOOOOO, don't start THAT again! Nobody knows the answer to THAT! But now, with the Wednesday off every month and a rumoured week off for the military students next month, this cuts down the time and, I suppose, breaks the course into significant halves. Not just one 'splurge' of week after week after week. Both we and they need a break. Well, of course THEY will get a break while WE will have nothing to do and will sit twiddling our thumbs for that week back in the office.

Ah yes, that reminds me of something else. Two new teachers are due to arrive soon – one of them this weekend or early next week. Quite what they'll do or how long THEY will be sitting doing nothing is anybody's guess. But that is not the issue. The thing is WHERE are they going to sit. Currently the desk and chair I use AND the desk and chair used by the teacher I share the military classes with is regarded as Temporary. In other words, we are not the long-term occupiers of those places. Who WILL be then? The new guys? Could be.

If the new guys are to do their teaching in the main building, then they would have, I suppose, more “claim” to those desks. Yeah, GREAT! So where would I SIT then?? I need afternoons for preparation time and I need desk space to put books, computer, pens and myself on. My arrangement now is that I keep the books and files I use on my desk so that when I come ion, they are easily accessible and I can get on with organising the next day fairly efficiently and in minimal time. If I did NOT have that desk space, then I'd have to faff around every afternoon getting those files and books out again and the resulting time would be longer and less well organised. And I'd feel less comfortable in general.

There are these desks and desk space for us out in the offices in the military area, you see. Yes, they are very nice desks and it is a nice office to work in. But there are no teaching books, no photocopier, no kettle for tea and for SURE no computers for word processing or internet work. Which means that that office space is useless except for comfy-chair value. Therefore it is useless to put us there permanently.

I know the Head of Department is trying to get more office space elsewhere by moving some of the Registrar staff to other locations. Indeed, there is brand new office space for them under construction now. Really it is VERY nice. But we all know how things move here. SNAILS GET READY!!

No doubt we will have a nice “surprise” when we walk in to the office on Saturday afternoon. Ha!! And just when you thought all the surprises were gone!

Other than this, it has been a fairly standard week. Good days and bad days. Trying to move through the ridiculous book – on one hand, showing that we ARE using it, but on the other hand using it as little as possible since it IS so useless.

Next week is Test Number 2 for them. Again it will be very interesting to see how they manage. I have learnt from the previous one and will know better how to put it together. A task for this weekend. Won't take long. Similar format to the previous one – two 'papers' with the first one being a mix and the second being question formation and a writing exercise. THIS time I'll get a picture they can write about.

Ahh, I forgot last week's “outing” to the shopping mall of the week (the Mall Of Dhahran in Khobar, for those of you who are counting!). Standard stuff mostly but with a few observations. Shopping mall visits are good for these.

The first one concerns a poster which I saw and had to work out WHAT I was seeing. I've seen such posters before with pixellated out areas. Never been quite sure why and up until now I always thought it was part of the design of the thing. Until I saw the one I did last Thursday.

Was a picture containing three young men and boys. One crouched down, the other two standing up in the background. With the boy sitting down, he seemed to have something with him. Some kind of pixellated-out white or light brown thing next to him. What could it be? And what were the two similar white or light brown things pixellated out behind him with the other two young men??

Worked it out yet? When I DID work it out, I just HAD TO LAUGH. But at the same time, it is complete STUPID.

OK, the blurred out bits were three DOGS! Yes, DOGS!!

Why, you ask, would they censor out photos of dogs?? Ah well, dogs and cats are considered “unclean” and dirty animals. No Saudi family keeps a dog indoors. And, in this heat, this doesn't give the poor canines much option. I don't know if they keep them as guard dogs, but you would suppose not given this that I saw on the poster.

I mean, DOGS of all things!! Pigs, yes, I might understand as pork is forbidden here. And, remembering back to the censored bits on Saudi-edited films on the plane, there are other things too which are “haram” (forbidden). But I don't see the logic in sparing people's eyes from DOGS. Well, I'm not much of a dog-lover, but come ON! They're not THAT bad, are they?

What else did I see? Well in this shopping mall, I was there the first time. “How exciting!”, you say as you drop off your chair asleep. Well ha ha HAA – do you think it's FUN FOR ME? Of COURSE I'd like more to do here but hey – this is what it is!! Anyway, the styles of women's abbaya and hejab were much more varied here. Saw a more loose fitting kind of head scarf coupled with what I can describe as a 'face mask' across the mouth. And there were even SOME Arab women with no face covering at ALL! Possibly from Bahrain where it is more relaxed.

Getting a bit tired of just seeing women in this way. It must be so HOT and uncomfortable for them under these black abbaya and hejab combinations. Especially the Saudi one which is more tight fitting on and around the head.

But .... still enjoying the ice latte coffee ..... MMMMMM!!! :) :)

Holidays - Clear as MUD!!

Sunday 10th May 2009
Well, to quote the great Ronnie Barker in his brilliant character, Arkright, in “Open All Hours”, “It's been a funny sort of day!”.


Actually there was nothing REMOTELY FUNNY (in the funny ha-ha sense of the word) at ALL! One of those days that you know you should just brush off as it really doesn't matter. But, on the other hand, it is a day that won't go away from my mind easily.


Hmm ..... perhaps I over-dramatise rather. Perhaps I'll just get on with what happened ....
In fact I must start off from yesterday afternoon. There was to be, as we were informed, a kind of graduation ceremony for, I suppose, out-going and successful students of the medical college here. The Saudi flags were out lining the ways up to the college and some kind of bigwig general was due to come to do the presentations and hand shaking and other stuff that happens at such things. All very nice.


Now then, because it was such a day, there were to be no lessons. But here's the thing, and here's the question that was not answered. Was this day off to include our military classes or not? Well, it was not clear since they had another one of these a week or so ago also with flags everywhere and this same general chappie with, I suppose, his medals and sabre-sword and all the trimmings. And on THAT occasion there was NO MENTION WHATSOEVER of there being any kind of day off for ANYONE. Not as far as I know, and for THAT day off was not rumoured to extend to OUR military students.


So why should the occasion today have been any different? Well, the rumour was put around that there were no lessons on this day. For whom did this apply? Obviously it included teachers who taught regular medical students since they would be at this ceremony one would imagine.
Well the Head of Department didn't know. Our military students didn't mention it, nor did anyone in charge down at the place we teach those students.


WHY, therefore, should we assume that the day off SHOULD include our soldier boys??


Towards the end of the day the Head of Department did whizz round and did happen to mention that it WAS a day off for ALL. But you see – information shared around here is never cut and dried and should never be taken as read. I decided, together with my teaching colleague who I share these classes with, that the sensible thing to do would be to go along as normal in the morning. And, quite simply, if there were or were NOT students there waiting for us, then this would be all the proof that was needed. Those students would surely have been informed if THEY were going to have a day off.


So, this morning came, and over we went. Indeed, yes, there our students were sitting and waiting like they always do. So that seemed the end of any argument. A few other medical students in their green doctors-to-be uniforms turned up too. And there were the usual number of cleaning staff and those higher ranking men in berets were there too. Also, there were a number of other men in uniform hanging around. But they probably came with the presentation party, or some associated 'entourage'.


In we went, did the lessons, home for lunch. It actually wasn't a great day of teaching, but more later.


Now, I went back to the office rather later than normal. It was nearing 1pm when I got there which is rather stretching the lunchbreak a little too far. Normally nobody says anything when I go in. THIS TIME, when I got in to the staffroom, the Head of Department said my name as soon as he saw me walk through the door. Instantly I thought it's be trouble for arriving back so late. THAT might have been a justified thing to have a go at me for. But no – it was not that simple.


Why had I gone to my classes this morning, he demanded to know. This took me back, and I explained that the students were there ready for class so the lesson was obviously on as normal. “NO!”, he yelled in his overbearing voice, “You were supposed NOT to go and teach there today. Your classes were cancelled!!”. So WHY were the students THERE, I asked. “Doesnt matter!”, he said, “By doing that, you have given them a FREEBIE lesson and this will set a precedent later and will just cause trouble for all the OTHER TEACHERS another time!”. “But they were THERE!!”, I said again. “And what would have happened if we HADN'T turned up? They would have been there for nothing and would, rightly, have complained. And then ALL SORTS of trouble would have come out of it!!”. “But no, this was NOT right still because those students SHOULD HAVE been informed and it is not our fault that nobody DID inform them! This is an army matter that should have been dealt with by the military people! The fact that THEY did not inform those students is NOT OUR PROBLEM!”


I went on to point out AGAIN that it would have looked MUCH WORSE if we,as teachers, had NOT TURNED UP. Well, you know how it works around here. Had we not turned up then the students would have demanded this lesson be made up another time. Bad feeling would be created when we teachers protested it was not our fault that they did not know. Things would have been escalated. And, most likely, this day that would have been lost would SURELY been added on to extend this blasted even FURTHER into Ramadan.


The course is already rumoured to be going into Ramadan and to be ending on Wednesday 26th August. When the registrar guy came in, those three weeks ago, to finally give the class registers to the Head Of Department, I CLEARLY heard him say that the course WOULD continue one week into Ramadan. This issue I took up with the HoD, and the discussion that was had I wrote about a few blogs ago.


But guess what – The HoD denied that this was ever said. I reminded him of that conversation that HE HAD HAD with the registrar guy when he came in that time. Denial again. “And this course WILL NOT go into Ramadan! It CAN'T DO!!”.


Huh!! “It CAN'T DO!!”. What rubbish! Only the day before had discussion taken place with the HoD and some other teachers about the fact that there is NO WAY we can predict when we can book our flights out for the summer. Why? Because you can never know what is coming up.
So you see – the course WILL and WON'T continue into the Ramadan period!! Completely logical. Just remember where I am!!


WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!!


Yelling at US TEACHERS for doing our jobs! Saying we need to be “united” in this to stand against ..... whatever it is we're opposing. Putting the blame on ME AND MY COLLEAGUE because we showed a responsibility towards our students!!


Maybe he does not like this military class and the increasing influence the military HAS on what goes on in the college. But does he want to INCREASE the difficulties just to be “united” as he put it.


I have no worries that I did the wrong thing. The consequences of NOT GOING in this morning when the students WERE there would have been FAR WORSE I'm SURE!


If someone wants to yell at me, then let it be for a legitimate reason. NOT for some situation that I did not cause nor make worse!!


OK, enough of THAT. Well, it was a bad day in class too. Yesterday had been a really GOOD day with a responsive, nice bunch. TODAY there was a large element of them that were VERY distracted for some reason. Perhaps it was how I started off the day. I suppose it was a rather bits-and-pieces kind of day, but I got to make things last out somehow. And I had some old photocopies that needed using up or binning. HOWEVER, despite this, they would NOT keep quiet today, and this continued and got worse as the morning went on.


Now, I'm normally a pretty tolerant kind of teacher. Perhaps I am too lenient at times. A little bit of background chatter is OK. And I don't object too much when there are used bottles of water left lying around at the end of class. That's what the cleaning staff are for! Today, as time went on and the background chatter got more and more, I felt I'd had enough.


There was also an incident at the start of one lesson – maybe Lesson 2 or 3. One of the students had lost one of the dark lenses from his sunglasses. Now, I don't know how it got there, but for some reason one other student had it on his person somewhere and when he stood up to look for it, the lens fell on the floor (from somewhere) and broke. Yes, it was a glass lens, and not a lightweight one either.


So here we were. Broken glass from this lens was on the floor. Who should clean it up? Now, at first I asked the guy it had dropped from to pick up the pieces. He objected with loud Arabic protests. OK, so they should BOTH pick up the pieces. Chatter chatter, blabber blabber BLABBER! Much annoyance all round. I was not going to let this go – broken glass on a classroom floor and a room full of medical students-to-be. STILL I insisted they BOTH clear it up. In the end they did. I did not know or care WHY this lens had broken or WHY the guy had it on him. Maybe someone else played a joke. Anyway, the guy whose sunglasses these were then put the one-eye sunglasses in the bin. NOT very happy! And nor was I!! Silly to argue who should clean this up!! Like KIDS!!


This had annoyed me, but I continued. However, when the 'sunglasses man' wouldn't stop talking away, I decided I was NOT going to keep trying to talk over him OR ANYONE ELSE! They were ALL talking at once – probably about this incident. SO enough was enough – I went and sat down until they had SHUT UP! Had to do this later on too in the next lesson.


In the last lesson I had had ENOUGH of it all and got more severe. Now, again, if they are a little late back after breaktime then it's OK. But right NOW it was NOT OK, and after waiting for them for way too long. I went out and told them to GET IN HERE in one minute's time or they'd ALL be marked as absent!!


Most of them DID move and come in. But when the minute was up, they were not all in. Three were missing, and it was the usual two idiots plus 'sunglasses man'. All were marked absent.
Of course they attempted to wander in later. “You're ABSENT!”, I told them when they came in. “Ohh teacher! Can you forget it?”, one asked (the supervisor/monitor idiot). “NO!!”, I said, “Look at the time, you are late and so you are absent!”. “But I was only washing my face!”, he said. It was eight minutes into the lesson at this point. THIS is the guy who is supposed to be in charge of the admin side of the class and is a few years older than the others. The other guy (the one who had broken his leg or ankle playing football in Week 1) then came in trying to do his “Creep Creep” thing. Absent!


So he and his supervisor “buddy” went out again!! FINE!! Better off without BOTH of you!
But this brings to mind two more things. The “leg man” had asked me yesterday if he could go to the hospital because they were going to take off his plaster cast today. Sounded good, so I let him. Bit what did I see today morning? He STILL had the plaster cast on him. “A new one!”, he said. Yeah right – and did THAT take the WHOLE MORNING?? Talking of freebies earlier – he had given HIMSELF a freebie yesterday I reckon.


Also, at the start of the lesson the supervisor/monitor guy needed to share the coursebook of one other student as he didn't have his own. So he moved places, and was sitting behind the “leg man”. A little time later I saw him leaning forward and he appeared to be whispering something into “Leg man” 's ear. He had that sinster smile on his face as he was doing it too. Looked really weird!!


Well, they do seem to get on well together. They sometimes share a car in the mornings too. And maybe they like to share other things too ..... ;) ;) Who knows!


So a bad teaching day full of non-listening and a stupid accident and me having enough and “reading the riot act”. I will now clamp down more firmly from now on with the register and with punctuality. If they take the mickey and don't show the proper respect, then THIS “Teacher David” will get nasty.


I hope it won't come to that as they've been quite alright to teach so far ....


And what will happen in August? Well, it seems that I WILL AND WON'T have a holiday from Wednesday 19th. Clear? As MUD!!

Feelin' Hot Hot Hottttt!!

Sunday 3rd May 2009
Yes, yes, I know. It's NOT a very original title, “Feelin' Hot Hot HOTTT”, and yes I DO know it's much like the previous blog entry title. But the fact DOES remain that as from the beginning of last week it really HAS become VERY hot here in Saudi Arabia.

“And what does 'very hot' mean to YOU?”, you ask. Well, I'm talking days where the mid-day temperature is up to something like 45 celsius as it was on more than one occasion. “And how does that feel?”, you ask again. Well, I could give you a couple of analogies which would help you. Firstly, you know the heat you get when you open the oven door when you're putting something in or checking or whatever? THAT is one way to look at it. Oh, and another way – maybe less realistic - is that it is like standing some distance from a jet engine near take-off. Yes, HEAT is one thing but when there's a wind to go with it THEN you know you're in trouble. And THEN it's time to get indoors.

But on a serious point, I've said it before and I'll repeat it here. It REALLY doesn't take much exposure to the Saudi sun for it to affect you. Yes, maybe I'm developing a nice tan, but I'm not sure I want to. I mean, a tan is one thing but me with my rather white European skin is at a HIGH RISK of some bad sunburn or, even WORSE, at a risk of sunstroke. “So stay indoors!”, you say. Of course I WILL, but I can't avoid being outside always. I have to get from my block to the place I'm teaching in and then, later, from my block to the main college building. Only four journeys a day, and each one only 5 minutes at most, but when the heat is on it can STILL do a lot of damage.

It isn't just the working days. At weekends I will be in town and am likely to be outdoors more (though, again, I try NOT to be). Things like waiting for taxis kind of REQUIRE one person to be standing in a place where the taxi can see you. And that means in the sun, and it doesn't matter if you're in the shade or not.

Another thing is that you can be 'deceived'. You can THINK that it doesn't feel so hot standing there and you may even think how NICE it is. But because of the fact that it is a rather intense heat, you for SURE feel it only a short time later. Yesterday I and another teacher colleague were in town to cash our pay cheques. After having done this, we were waiting for another taxi to take us to our next destination. This place we were going wasn't far, but far enough in the heat. We must have waited 10 minutes or so. Later on in the evening we did the same, and even though it was somewhat cooler, it was still the equivalent of a very warm summer evening back in Europe. I got back home that night with rather a headache – in fact, I'd had this headache even BEFORE we set off into town. And together with this headache, I REALLY didn't feel good in the stomach region.

Last night I went to bed feeling REALLY not good, and at around 2am I woke up ALSO feeling not great with a strange feeling in my stomach. So I went to get a drink of juice and back to bed. This morning I still didn't feel too well and my walk to work was rather slower than normal. But good amounts of water and a class to keep me going worked well enough. There's nothing like a good English lesson to revive!

Hold on! You just used the words, “good”, and “class”, in the same sentence (though not together)! Well, this leads us on to my progress so far with the soldier boys. And it's really not that bad!

I'm now halfway through Week 3 of this 18-week course with these soldier boys. And guess what – it's not going so badly after all! Yes, I DID say that!

In fact, the problems so far have been not so much with THEM as students but with deciding what to do with them so as to keep them busy for those four lesson periods a day. However, I seem to be managing it! I don't know that I'm keeping them entertained and perhaps not all the time intellectually stimulated. But I have been able to pass the time quite satisfactorily and I haven't run out of material yet in any lesson. For sure I haven't felt under pressure to give more than I am doing already. No, it doesn't mean that my lessons are the greatest I've ever done. I think I've been doing too much photocopying for one thing, and I haven't been that original and haven't created much of my own stuff. All the materials I've used have been taken from or adapted from existing stuff in the college or is worksheets and/or handouts which I have found online. Finding online has been easier than normal – all I've put into Google is something like, “describing people worksheets”, and then I either look at the 'Images' or at the websites themselves that come up. I've found really LOTS of good, useful stuff which I WILL be able to use in future. SO that makes it DOUBLY useful! Well, you could criticise and say, “WHY not create your own instead of using other stuff which might not be suitable?”. Ah, but it IS suitable, or if not then I make it so.

Times like this, I feel that my experience in the 'TEFL Game' comes into great effect! So a worthy Pat On The Back is due here :)

Apart from the teaching, there has been some interesting 'class chemistry' going on. Remember the “supervisor” or “monitor” guy I mentioned last time? Well, last Wednesday he asked me if he could go to Riyadh early and this meant he was going to miss the last two lessons. I certainly didn't mind – a class without HIM is always going to be a better one! Later on – some way into Lesson 3 or 4 – one of the military bigwigs came in to ask him a question. Uh-Oh he wasn't there! HAH! He wasn't doing the job he was SUPPOSED to be doing.

And what IS that job? Well, the extend of it is not entirely clear, but it includes taking some kind of attendance register which he gets me to sign for each of the four lessons. Ah HAH – but in fact he doesn't do his job HERE EITHER since he has never done this properly yet and I have only once or twice had to sign for ALL four lessons! So he hands that in incomplete! And I have heard today about another task that was given to him. Yesterday after Lesson 4, one of the officers came in and summoned all the students together and took them off somewhere for a meeting of some kind. TODAY I have found out that it was THIS “MONITOR” GUY'S TASK to lead this meeting. And what was it all about? Well ..... to 'remind' the others about the importance of attendance, punctuality, being a good student and the like!!! HIM telling THEM about THAT?? Couldn't have picked a worse guy. Even this morning he came into class and then went out saying he had to go get his book from his car. And he is pretty much always the last into class after break times!

Then there is “The Sleeper”. A guy who seems to be in another time zone to the rest of the class and who always says how he dislikes studying and how the three years of medical college is a VERY long time and will make him an old man. More likely it will make his future TEACHERS old men – old and angry with frustration at having HIM in their class. I mean, he sits there doing almost NOTHING. And for SURE NOTHING in Lessons 3 and 4. He is the kind of guy who, after giving the other students something to do is STILL THERE staring into space and has no idea where we are. He is 10 or 15 minutes behind the others. And yet he always says he wants to learn and that he wants to be a nurse. But he clearly is anti-study and is the sort of guy who is either gonna do all he can to avoid it or expect it all to come to him on a silver platter. Well, I hope he's not going to be MY DOCTOR!

But I really must say this. Apart from the fact that is a long morning for the students AND for me, I have to say that the MAJORITY of them ARE motivated to learn and are keen to do the things that we do. I would say that 4 or maybe 5 of them really ARE at a low level – though nothing so low as to demotivate them. I try not to go at too fast a pace though it can be hard if you just look at the more able students. And, like always, I go willingly around to help any individuals who need it. They all get involved and I think they feel they are not left out. I hope so anyway.

So what else have I been doing? Well, perhaps some observations and comments are due from the weekends out and other trips into town ....

I spend much time now in shopping malls around town (unfortunately) now. They have never been my favourite places to spend time. However, here they are nicely air conditioned and cool from the heat of the day. And, as I've said before, they are pretty much all there is to do with the exception of a few scattered cafes in town – one of which (called 'Mondo' – it's a short way behind “Tamimi's” down in Khobar) has become one of my very favourites. But only because of their excellent frappuccino. And the nice big-screen TV :D Oh, no I'm not quite sure what a frappuccino is, but I think it involves milk, ice cream, cream, sugar, chocolate/cocoa and other good, good things. And lots of ice.

So now, to some “Arab Ways” and the things that they wear. Here is your Arabic vocabulary mini-lesson of the day ....

MEN – (not sure of the spelling of these) the THOBE is the long, white Muslim 'gown' made of (I think) cotton that most of them wear almost everywhere. This goes with the GUTRA, which is what we would refer to as the red checked 'tea towel' on their heads. There is a name for the black 'band' they have on their heads to secure it from falling off or blowing away, but I don't remember its name.

WOMEN – I've mentioned these many times already. The ABBAYA is the long, black (sometimes with patterns) 'gown' that, in fact, ALL women (foreign or native Arab) are required to wear when outside the home. Hmmm, well I say ALL, but many western women do not wear it. And with the ABBAYA for the Saudi women goes the HEJAB which is what they put over their heads and faces to hide everything except the eyes (and sometimes even the eyes are hidden!).

ARAB GREETINGS – according to what I was told and read about, Saudis greet other with a handshake and/or nod and the standard greeting is “Salaam alikam” to which you reply “Alikam salaam”.

BUT there's more, and THIS is a weird one to watch. The times where, presumable, friends greet each other is a much more 'intimate' greeting. It seems to be a kiss on the right cheek followed by some kind of softly spoken words in the ear, and then maybe another kiss on the right cheek. Not sure if the left cheek gets a kiss. But to me as a western man it looks like something not comfortable. Well, a greeting between friends should be warm and friendly, yes, but the kiss and “secret message” just looks strange.

MORE ON THE GUTRA – there are different ways to arrange your gutra on or around your head. Many men just wear it loose and hanging, but I suppose sometimes it must get hot around the summer season. SO what many ALSO do is fold it, arrange it in some other way, pile it up on top of the head or try to wrap it around their head in some other way. You sometimes see them looking in mirrors in the gent's toilet arranging it and checking how it looks. It becomes like long hair for many. I bet there are experts in Gutra Arrangement around who maybe have a Gutra Of The Week column in some tabloid newspaper or magazine somewhere. And I can just see it being a daytime TV hit!

Ohh, and I HAVE TO MENTION the gutra of the week that I saw yesterday in the Rashid Mall in Khobar. I mean, I've NEVER seen anything like THIS before. This guy actually had two black TASSLES coming out of the back of his gutra and danging down way down his back. A kind of Turkish influence? Quite extraordinary!

ARAB MEN OUT SHOPPING – also raising eyebrows sometimes is when you see Arab men walking around the shopping mall with one of those .... well, it's what you might call a fashion shopping bag. I mean, the kind of thing you get if you shop at some kind of boutique – the kind of rather stiff rectangular bag with the string handles. Sometimes people use them as an alternative to wrapping paper for presents in Europe. They look very nice under the Xmas tree.

FRIENDS LEADING FRIENDS – something you would NEVER see in the west is friends leading other friends by the hand somewhere. Well, in fact, one friend takes the wrist of another if he wants him to go with him somewhere. So I guess he's taking him somewhere, and I'm sure it's a good, honest friendly gesture. But to my western eyes it looks like ..... well, rather like 'holding hands'. Except that it isn't. So don't confuse it as such!

OK, that's that. Last week was a nice and more laid back week than normal due to it being the mid-term break for most of the college. I say “most” because it didn't include my class of soldier boys or my colleague's. But it was nice! Almost NOBODY was about the staffroom or college. So a nice LOOOOOOONG lunchtime was had every working day at home followed by going back to the college, doing the photocopies that were needed and then going BACK HOME!

Well, I think we deserved that! We wanted a holiday too, and it was almost the same!

It Ain't Half Hot Mum .... In Saudi Arabia!

Wednesday 22nd April 2009
Well .... fanfare please because I have just finished .... my FIRST FULL WEEK OF TEACHING PROPER!

That makes it over four months between the last lesson I had in Krakow on Friday December 12th 2008 (in the morning) and the first one I did on Saturday 18th April 2009 (first one also in the morning). It is the second longest period (summer times excluded) that I have gone “between classrooms”. No, I am not counting those two lessons I did with the class of Saudi female nurses because, to me, they were just cover lessons. What counts for me is the period between two sets of classes that were exclusively MINE.

Anyway, enough blah-blahs. What you want to know is HOW WAS IT? And especially so after my gloomy forecasts and predictions. And even MORE so after all I have been told about these soldier boy classes and their nightmare statuses.

Well, I'm glad to say that the answer to this is NOT SO BAD! The morning walk over there is not too hot (yet!). And I and the other teacher who I go over there with are still able to go home for lunch when we're done. The teachers' block is on the way when we are coming back from finish time. So why go all the way to the hospital canteen when it is MUCH better to go home, take a proper rest and enjoy a bit of peace.

Peace? Thought you said you liked the canteen food? Well, I DO! But, got to be practical here. In this ever-increasing heat that we are experiencing here, you want to do as little open-air walking as possible. And the walk over to the canteen is just, “A Bridge Too Far”, and .... well, I know you can learn to walk over hot coals without burning yourself but I haven't any idea how to apply this to the “Saudi Sun”.

OK, so what are the students like and how am I coping? As I said, they seem OK as people. As students? Well, yes they are lacking language-wise and they don't retain much of what I do with them and don't have the disciplines that a good student has to stick to. I mean things like they most likely don't look at what we do in the lessons at any time OUTSIDE lesson time. But they need to get into good habits. After all, from September they will become students-proper and will be included in the more regular nurses and medics course in the main building. Perhaps that is something I can work on too.

The main thing is that they are not anti-teacher. And I think their motivation is OK in most cases. They are a mixture of levels from the very low level ones who haven't much sense of the language and probably haven't seen much of the ELT classroom. And it goes up to the ones whose general vocabulary is quite acceptable for an elementary-level student but who are not quite good enough to communicate in full-enough sentences. Not ones which are always grammatically correct anyway. But they are perfectly able to communicate what they want most of the time and they seem to understand what I, the teacher, ask of them. Again, in most cases they obviously HAVE been in an English language classroom somewhere along the line and are aware of the things we make students do like drilling, gap-filling, taking basic notes (though not THAT many do this!)

The problems that I am likely to face most are those of lack of readily available materials to supplement the rather thin books that we are to use with them. As you may recall, the books we have been given are ones made for classes of 7 or 8 year old children. Nice big pictures, very little on each page, nice and slow, nice and easy pace for those poor little kids.

But these are men. Yes, perhaps they are not the most disciplined students I will ever come across in my TEFL life. But they are not the emptyheads that we were led to believe.

I would say that, out of the twelve students that I have seen this week, there are four or maybe five who genuinely ARE weak and/or shy and/or not very self-confident in their language ability. But I have seen no evidence of students who “don't want to be there” amongst that small group.

As I see it, so long as I can keep “jollying them along” and keep them going for most of the time, then all will be OK. What is required is what I do most of the time with most of the students I have and have ever had. And that is to keep an eye on things that come up in lessons that either need more work or interests shown which can be exploited OR to bring in more material on a topic or topics just covered which is 'relevant'. Hehe, but what do I mean by “relevant”? Ahh well .... this is the art of being a teacher, you see. “Relevant” can mean you take a thing as far as it will go without getting ridiculous. Stretch a topic, go off on as many tangents as you feasibly can, and, of COURSE apply the “Three R's Of TEFL” at all times.

“The Three R's?”, you say quizzically. Ahh, yes my friends! Nothing to do with what you did in school! MY three R's of TEFL are .... REPEAT! REVISE! REMIND!

And plenty of it too! And as often as you can get away with!

Now to the books. Well, predictably the students didn't have them yet, and very likely won't have them till next week. Well, that is definitely so since it is the week end now. But the books themselves present another problem – they are not likely to last much more than a month at best, and then there is the cost to the students. Normally this would not be an issue, but since one book set is going to last around a month and they cost money, then this is an excuse for students to delay getting them.

So why use this “baby book” at all, you ask? Well, the problem with English language coursebooks here is simply one of availability. It is no good saying, “Yes, Book X is a good book to use”, if you cannot get that book in this country. The old problem of distribution! Every school has it that I have ever worked in. And students have to buy the books THEMSELVES. Yes, that is normally the case, but it could be made easier for them too.

This week has been mostly supplementation. That is because the students don't have the books yet. In some ways it's OK because it pads the whole thing out a bit more. But it also means I have to think a lot harder! However, as problems go, this is NOT the type of problem that causes as much worry and stress as, for example, sitting around waiting for something-or-nothing to happen. I'd rather have it THIS way thanks! Now at least the way through things is under MY control rather than Those On High.

Four 50-minute lessons a day is a lot for anyone. Couple THAT with doing it five days a week and packing all those four lessons into the morning means that the day gets pretty tiring for them as well as me. Three lesson periods, OK, but the FOURTH one is quite an effort to pull off effectively. There are many tired faces by then!

I am a little concerned that I might use up all available supplementary materials too early. After all, we have 18 weeks in all which works out as around four months and ends mid to end August.

Now .... to some observations and a few interesting happenings. First of all, there are far too often interruptions to the lesson by someone or other in uniform knocking on the door to bark some information in to the students. They are short but uninvited. Isn't the end of lesson possible for such things? I guess not.

And secondly to the most intriguing thing that has happened this week. Now, in the first few lessons there was one guy who sits in the front row who always seemed to be the fastest and first to finish any handed-out exercise I gave the class. He seems rather older than the others too. This got me suspicious, and even more so because in the third and fourth lesson periods he is basically sitting there asleep and not taking part at all. I ignore it basically – I'm not his mother and it is up to HIM if he wants to waste his time. Sleeping in class is annoying but not as bad as excessive noise. However, TODAY was different.

Lesson period one .... he comes in twenty minutes late. Now, the way we mark the attendance register here is “Present” or “Absent”. There is no mark for someone who is “Late”. In other words, as we have been instructed, if somebody is “Late” then we must mark that person as “Absent”. And if they then turn up later then TOO BAD!

So in he comes 20 minutes late and I've already marked him absent together with one other guy who is genuinely absent (and the other three absentees who haven't been here all week!). “Where have you been?”, I ask him and his excuse I don't really care for anyway as his sleeping in class doesn't make me like him or want to listen to him much. I tell him I've marked him absent and he pleads with me to take it out. I refuse. He sits down anyway. Lesson period two .... this time he wanders in TEN MINUTES LATE! And STILL he asks he if I can remove his absence, which again I refuse to do.

The long break comes, then it is time for lesson period three. I have just got started, when there is a knock at the door and a smiling Saudi in uniform asks if he can speak to me a moment. I leave the students something to do then go out to speak to him. His face is new to me – he is not the supervisor I have seen before. He says he is (some kind of) student supervisor or welfare advisor or some other thing. Mentions the fact that I have marked this student absent. Yes, I said, since he was twenty minutes and ten minutes late in my lessons so far. Well, this guy says, this student is the 'supervisor' of the two classes and has other duties which he must do as well as attending ....

So please could I NOT MARK HIM AS ABSENT!

As I suspected all along! He is there as supervisor and as monitor! Some of his questions had been a little odd. On the first day (and I don't remember how this topic came up) he asked me if I was a Muslim. I said no, then he asked if I was a Christian. I quickly said that we do not discuss such a topic and he should know why. Another incident occurred when I was doing Rooms Of The House and was onto the Bedroom. Now, perhaps this was asking for it, but as with all the other rooms in the house I asked the students to tell me what we can do there. “You can f**** your wife!”, he said, smiling. “Write it down please!”. No, of course I didn't. There was not much amusement on other students' faces, and nobody joined in his little “joke” (maybe they didn't understand him .... thank goodness!)

He obviously knows more English than the others. On the first two days I had to sign some piece of paper to verify I had been there and had been on time. Why, I have no idea, but it was obviously his role to be there to check up on me, on the class, on the lesson material and on the lessons in general. And to try to trip me up whenever he could, but he failed at THAT!

So .... as you can see, this guy can now do as he pleases and he can wander in any old time he likes and I can do nothing about it. So go ahead! Sleep all lesson for all I care!

Now, I'm advancing things here, but I forgot to say what happened at the very BEGINNING of the week when we turned up at the appointed time (7.30am) ready to get going with LESSON 1 DAY 1. Well, as you can probably guess, NOTHING happened. There were no students and no idea of where they were or when they would come. Other students had mid-term testing on that day but they were not OUR students. When would our classes begin? To me it was obvious that nothing would happen that day at all if the past five weeks was anything to go but. Fortunately I was proved wrong – however, we had to wait until the middle of lesson period 3 (about 8.45am) until FINALLY the classes were ready. Delays Delays Delayzzzzzzz ....

So .... the weekly routine has been established. Go over to the lesson place (a five minute morning walk), do the lessons, go home for lunch, wander back into the office some time after 12.30pm, do the lesson planning for the next day(s) and then go home again. Not bad, is it? Of course, when it gets REALLY hot later on then we will have to make more use of the little bus that runs between this lesson centre and the college. But that will mean no going home for lunch. Still, practicals in the burning heat must be applied. My poor white European skin depends on it!

Next week is a holiday .... but not for myself or the other new teacher. Number One – we can't have one anyway due to the contract's stipulation of “five months till you can have holidays”. And Number Two – these military lessons go on through the holiday period. Well, it is only a holiday period because it is the mid-term break for the regular nursing and medical classes. Most other teachers are going away to various exotic lands for the week. The teachers' staffroom will be open but only with a key that we have borrowed. Well, basically it will be a nice easy week and I won;t be breaking by back much in the afternoon to get to the office and back. Just go home for lunch, take my time, go to the office to do photocopying and then go home again.

It's leisure time .... but not as we know it!